Aug 2012 Some good, some coulda been better but nothing really bad!
Aug 1 Wed The pretrial hearing on Sept 17th is inching closer and closer. Not counting the days but certainly looking at the weeks, soon I’ll be able to count the weeks on one hand. Can you tell I am excited? You bet I am, just wanna get this over and start living, rejoin my friends, and do lotsa things. The Healing the Eye in Tampa, sauna, Ellipitigo bike are the real biggies. Get those done and I just might be on my way to getting most of the real me back.
Trying to do the DDP Yoga every morning and so far, I have but just barely getting started. Hope to say that in a month I only taken off mostly on Sundays. For not doing anything strenuous it can be a real butt kicker, and I need it.
Trying to touch my toes and really trying - but not there, yet!
I did something last night I have not done in a over a yearand since the accident. I walked around the block at 10 pm with a bright moon, pleasant weather and it would have been great for a moonlight trail run up in the mountains. Damn, I miss those runs even though I only did just a few. They were fun, being out with like minded crazies. Even thinking about Ridgecrest in Dec., the 30k that is, but I really need to do several 10ks, and a couple of half marathons before attempting something like that otherwise I might have to get a ride back. I don’t mind DFL, did finish last!, but a ride back would be embarrassing to no end.
Went into out in the garage again yesterday and got more stuff tossed. Have a pile for Cliff, a pile of aquarium stuff for Haley, all the paints are in one spot, and the garage is starting to shape up a bit. I’ll go thru the paint cans again later to see what is good and what goes to the hazardous waste site. Still have hours of work to do but it does give me something worthwhile to do. Oh, I still have the storage area by the RV carport that is full of kids stuff, old National geographic mags, Playboys, camping stuff, Christmas lights, and just stuff. I’ll worry about that AFTER I get the garage in good shape.
Just found out I have a probably 8 hour interview, Aug 21, with a neurologist over at UCLA in Los Angeles, an hour drive at best! I think they will do the sessions in 2 four sessions which suits me fine and I am really looking forward to it. Sometime soon, there will be another session with another doctor and whatever that is about, I am looking for it too. Just wanna get it all over with and start being me again, but getting closer.
August 15, Wed Oh shit! I overwrote the file I was using for the last several weeks and now have to start over from almost the very beginning. I’ll try to remember the important stuff, well… at least important to me right now.
I do remember taking Heidi in for her nose. Not only did she get into her medicine she got into Bella’s meds. Nancy had to take her to another vet, weekend thing, to get her stomach pumped out, and today more meds were delivered by mail and Heidi got into those. Damn dog, she’s costing us a fortune. The meds are not supposed to really bad for overdoses so she seems fine right now but really pissed at her.
Nancy had her deposition last week, for her little accident and her knee, I think it went ok. Just what we need to deal with, 2 lawsuits!!!
Sometimes I think it would be better lawsuit wise if I were still in a coma, bedridden or at least in a wheelchair. This is really a Catch-22. If I do well it just means there may not be as much money. I really want to be better, lots and lots better but I really don’t want to give up anything either. It has most certainly been no fun for these 20 months. Damn those Catch-22s.
Jean May, a good friend from Ft. Worth sent me an old photo of me when I was hashing lots. This made my day and lots more.
Zero the Gay Blade!
Probably in late 80’s or early 90’s
I went a few days ago to have a bit of skin cancer removed from my face, really was not too bad and I’ll be glad when the stitches are removed in a couple of days. Then there is a little spot on my leg that’ll be a non event. That’s one thing I will not try to blame on the accident, just not me. I’m sure there are some people, and attorneys, that would try for anything and everything to get all they can.
I did go Monday for an 8 hour interview and testing with a psychologist, it was quite interesting and a little fun at times but I was really tired that evening. Went back today for another 2.5 hours and some of the “games” are diabolical. They show a picture with 6 or 8 diagrams laid out in a grid of 24 spaces. You have 10 seconds to memorize and then shown 12 diagrams and you get to pick 6 or 8 and then place them on the correct grid spot. The diagrams are just a little different: mirror images, extra spots, lines or circles. It is difficult, have no idea how they score on that cause it ends up nothing more than pure guessing.
I get to go to a neurologist way over in Beverly Hills next week for a couple hours. Can’t wait for that one and then it will only be 1 MONTH till the pretrial hearing. This is the event I am really waiting on. The trial itself is in October and Ron, our attorney, said it is not unheard of the defense wait until the morning of the trial for the defense to make a good offer. I am getting closer and closer to being really excited. As I’ve said before lots of times, “I am so ready for this to be over and really start working on “me” big time. I have been working on “me” but this will allow me to go to the next level.
As I think about it, lots of money is being spent for and against me. The traffic analysis study was about $15,000, and the doctor I went to a few months ago for testing may have been 4 or $5,000 (both were for Ron). For the defense, the psychologist standard rate is probably $500 per hour for 8 or so hours, and the neurologist will probably be at least $500 for an our or so. I know the traffic analysis is in my favor and hope all the other tests will help me lots.
The hot weather finally broke so I got in a fairly fast 2-mile walk today, 2nd mile at 25:30. When I do a mile in 20 min flat, I just might break out a whole bottle of wine just for me to celebrate. I do feel more lively today I might even do yoga a bit later today. Yesterday was the first time yoga has called me since last week, really gonna work on it lots. Oh, I also went back to PT for the first time in several weeks, had to get more authorization from the insurance. I’ll go so long as they let me, I think it helps and it gets me out for just a little.
Heidi must have an extra gene to get into so much trouble. Her and Bella meds were delivered yesterday and dropped thru the mail slot. Guess who opened the envelope and ate all of her meds again? Heidi of course. Nancy is really ticked at me for not going to the vet right then but the meds are not supposed to be that much of a problem for an overdose and I did not want to spend another $500 to have her stomach pumped out. She’s fine but I think we need to have a built-in safety deposit box about 6 ft off the floor that is totally unreachable for her.
The weather is still a bit warm but not quite as hot as it was. I think I’ll do another walk in a few minutes and hopefully another round of yoga, we’ll see. Did not do!
Aug 17 Friday Went to the dermatologist this morning to have stitches on face taken out, now have a half-dollar sized crater just underneath my right sideburn. They want me to keep it filled with ointment and no bandage, which means I get grease goop all over the phone, don’t know what I’ll do at night because I really don’t want a greasy pillow and sheets every day. Bandage it is.
Just found out from our attorney I have another psychologist visit next week, at least this is just in Santa Ana. Nancy said this one might be a good one for me to have, I agree with her. If there were only a couple of things on me that worked poorly, hurt, or both, I could pretty easily deal with it. But…when it takes 1½ pages to describe everything it can, at times, seem a bit overwhelming. Not there yet on the edge, just skirting far away from the edges, if I get closer than I want I make myself go for a walk around the block a few times, play on Scrabble, Facebook, or do yoga and so far I’ve managed to stay pretty far away from the edge. So long as I can stay far away from the edge, I’ll be satisfied. Maybe not as happy as I would like but still satisfied.
I did a fast 2-mile walk late yesterday evening and then a bit later I did nother round of yoga. I slept pretty good last night and woke up around 7:45 this morning. But right now, I am bored silly. No, I am going to go there about my pants.
Another 2-mile stroll in the bag and during the walk I was thinking a bit about me. I have no serious pain issues, I can walk (like a drunken sailor) and I have no real weight issues. It would be too easy for me to sit/lay around, do absolutely nothing, and gain 150 pounds. When I first woke up I probably weighed 125/130 pounds and that is way too skinny. I was up to 168 for a short while and decided I really needed to be around 160. That also gave me an excuse to watch my cholesterol and now I have dropped a couple pounds or so, still have just a little more and then I’ll be satisfied. Now then, if I were to get down to 155 because of lots of walking I would be ecstatic.
I have never asked “Why me?” What good would it do? The past is past and unchangeable but sometimes one might make try to amends for something that happened in the past but I don’t think I can do anything about a bus hitting me other than just deal with it. The pretrial hearing is now 1 month away and I can now count the weeks on one hand, finally. I clearly remember Ron saying that it would probably take a year for everything to settle and looks he is going to be very close.
I’ve not shaved for several days, just waiting until I go to the neurologist in Beverly Hills tomorrow; I just want to be really clean and with it. Not that I want to impress him with how well I am doing, or not. I just want to…I don’t know… feel good.
Flashback time: When I was in the rest home, I did not shave for several weeks, and really no shower to speak of and my hair was yucky and Nancy thought I stunk. Maybe I did, don’t know. I do remember my first wheelchair shower and shave. Ack, the razor musta been used a few times before, no fun being shaved with a dull razor. Wheelchair showers are not something we typically look forward to but nevertheless I did feel lots better and so glad they have been in the past for months and months. I likely had a couple more wheelchair showers, don’t remember. Shaving, I could not do, right elbow would not bend enough and still clumsy with the left hand so either a nurse shaved me or I got Micki to shave me. Micki was so much better, thank you Micki.
Tuesday Aug 21 Well, I had the neurologist appt today way over in Beverly Hills, 43 miles over there!, and I really liked the guy. He did all the typical neurology things, checked for feeling in hand and feet with a pin, knocked on joints, short memory tests. In short, really a whole lot of nothing but I think he could tell I was not faking anything. At least I hope so. Tomorrow I go for another psychologist visit and as I mentioned before, this I am really looking forward to it.
For fun this evening I did yoga and 3 miles with only a very short stop for water and to get the dogs out for a couple of laps each. Got a good sweat, oboy! Hope to sleep well tonight.
Went to Dr Flores for the pysch evaluation today and was really unhappy. Waited 45 minutes and then took a mickey mouse test that had been photocopied way too many times. Needless to say, not good quality. That took an hour or so and then more waiting, finally went to his office with 5 other folks and he talked he talked on his cell phone for 10-15 minutes After that he talked none stop for an hour all about this and that legal stuff. He could have made his point in 20 minutes easily. By that time, I was a most unhappy camper.
Went back in the waiting room for another 2 1/2 hour wait. Finally, I got up, told the receptionist “I’m tired of waiting and I’m leaving” and just like that, I left. Called Austin, he came very shortly and meanwhile they called him and said I would get right in. So, being the good guy I am, I went back, reluctantly, and did go right in. The visit with Dr. Flores was just ok, he has a pretty heavy accent and I have to work hard to understand him. And another conversation on his cell phone, he just needs to turn it off or do something.
I’m set up for group visits 2x weekly and I’ll start week after next. He should help our case considerably and so I’ll stick with him for a while. A few months ago, I made a list of all my physical ailments and gave him an updated copy so he could use in our case, hope it helps. Crud, my feet are starting to feel funky again, Nancy does not care for me to say “funky” when describing my ailments so guess it’ll be “not good” or “not normal”. Hell, I may not even know what “normal” is anymore!
Friday Aug 24 My visit with the orthopedic surgeon today was a disappointment, my elbow shows a very slight improvement and he is not ready to do anything just yet, I go back in 6 months for a x-ray and visit. So, bullshit! I was really hoping he would be at least willing to proceed a little further on options. Oh, instead of a 2 hour wait like I usually have it was only about an hour or so. Much better than previous visits.
Just not with it very much today. I did get my blower back and it did start… and not start, again, bullshit again. Just don’t feel like doing much of anything but I want to. Stupid body and mind are not cooperating with each other today.
Most folks like bit of quite/down time. I, however, have waaayyy too much quite time. Quite time can provide one with a bit of looking within yourself, day dreaming, or it might be a time for brooding moody misery. I do like a bit of daydreaming but I want to stay away from being moody and miserable. There is plenty to make me unhappy but I will NOT go there. Instead, I’ll go wash my truck and maybe that will swing my mood around a bit. The truck got washed but do I feel better? Some, but not a whole lot, I just wanna have me back. Well, at least part of the “new” me maybe will be arriving in a few weeks or so. After everything is settled, the very first thing I will do is make an appt for the eye program in FL. After that, it will be as everything comes along. Hopefully, I will be allowed to walk freely, this hanging around here is a huge drag on my smiling face and attitude
It has been 19 months since the accident, I still cannot wrap my mind around it. I see, and feel, the physical aspects of it but still, I no comprehende. Don’t know what I can do or if I even need to be able to wrap my mind around it. Just deal with it and go forward?
My feet seem to be much worser today; it is not at all comfortable to walk. Damn, I was doing pretty good for a long while, now I guess I’ll have to wait and see what develops. Maybe go back to Dr. Cho for more laser treatments or try acupuncture. We’ll see how the money situation is next week. I am so tired of several forward and more back. Just wanna move on.
8-26 Sunday Mick and I went to the Headz meeting at El Moro today and it was good. We got in about
2 ½ RT miles in about 1:10 with some good hills, maybe 400-500 ft. elevation change.
I could do that every day and maybe in a few weeks more I can really start doing the Fullerton loop. I decided a very good walk would be around the Summit House loop. It has hills and not paved so that could be of help with my walking. I checked on Google Earth and it could be about a 6 mile round trip and cross only 3 small streets. That would be a great route for me. Can’t wait to get started.
My left eye was worser today, everything is not as sharp as it has been and I’m frustrated to no end. Damn, I really don’t need/want this, I just hope we can settle soon so I can sign up ASAP for the eye program in FL. Also thinking I would like to try acupuncture for feet, ankle and arm, again I need to wait until we have money although Kristy did email me months ago and said there would be no billing until the case is settled. Tempted to go ahead and try it but I probably ought to wait for a few more weeks to be sure.
Nancy and I drove down to Laguna Beach to look at a house the bank just sold. It is a nice place but not me. I have no desire to live there and fight horrendous weekend traffic, be right on top of neighbors and have a tiny yard, no thanks. I can spend 2.3 million lots better elsewhere. Almost forgot to mention I actually fell, I missed a couple of steps that were the same floor stone all around and took a little tumble. Thank goodness, it was inside, out of sight and no one else was around. Then we went to eat at one of Nancy’s favorite restaurants right on the beach. It was good but somewhat pricey but expected. Again, I’d rather do something rather than look at an endless ocean. Give me a patio with a view up in the mountains or rocks/boulders, good food, a beer and maybe even be able take a walk/hike afterwards. That, I can appreciate much more than the beaches.
Did nutin whatever yesterday and really about the same for today except for a doc visit, vet visit, physical therapy and a Snails meeting tonight, if I feel up to it and in the mood. The doc visit today was for the skin cancer removal on my face. Looks bad, just a scab and should fall off in maybe 4 weeks and I’ll have a normal face again, yea!
Heidi is losing a lot of fur and probably all related to all the meds she ate a few weeks ago. Damn dogs are expensive, but worth it. I go the pt later today and do I want to go? Not really, just not with the program again. Don’t feel bad, just no energy, everything seems like it hurts some, no smiling face on me, and it is a bit warm and so I’m staying in. Blah, bah, humbug, whatever!!!!
Aug 29 Wed Hot!!! The weather is hotter than forecast, the weathermen were wrong again. I am so ready for it to be cooler so the walkin’ can be longer and I can push myself a bit more. Saw a young lady this morning that used to live behind us and across the alley. She remembered me, I have no clue what her name is. But, we played a bit of catch up and she seems to be a very pleasant young lady.
I am even thinking about trying some acupuncture to see if it helps on any of my hurts/aches. After Nancy gets back from DC would be a great time to try. Heard lots of good stuff about it and would at least like to try and see if it does anything for me: shoulder, legs, feet, etc. Just wanna do sometime besides sit around all day with my thumb up my butt. Too warm to do much in the yard or anything, I may try to do another walk this evening when it cools off a bit. At least tomorrow may be a bit busier with the dermatologist visit, pt, and some running around.
Friday Aug 31 Last day of month, only 17 days til pretrial hearing, won’t be long until I can count the days on 2 hands and then one hand. I did get my pressure washer back yesterday and, damn it, it is no better than it was so I guess we’ll take it back next week. The hand held blower is finally starting as it should so now I can keep the deck clean.
Just remembered tonight is a Blue Moon so I may just take a stroll around the block after the moon starts shining and then have a Blue Moon Beer. A long walk was callin me this evening and even though a bit warm I got in the 2nd fastest 2 miles to date and a fast 25:00 flat 2nd mile. I checked my heart rate and it was only 82 which must mean I am not a total wussy yet. I remember having to work very hard to get it up to 160 but most it was mostly 120/130 on long hard runs. I think my normal rate is probably around 64/66 which is not too shabby. I will probably never be able to run like l used to but still, I can probably get it down to the high 50’s when I start doing my hours long walks in Oct/Nov. I will go all over the place.
Posted FB tonight: “Since tonight is a real Blue Moon I think I might go out for a few minutes and enjoy it. Then I will have a Blue Moon Harvest Pumpkin Ale so there will be two Blue Moons for me tonight.” Did not take long to get several likes. Mission accomplished and took Bella/Heidi out and NO CANE for me tonight. First walk w/o cane and both dogs. Bella had not been out much this week and kinda a handful for a couple minutes. Heidi, no problem.
In 2010, Karl Meltzer ran the 2064-mile Pony Express Trail, from Sacramento, California, to St. Joseph, Missouri, in 40 days, averaging 53 miles a day and ticking off 105 miles in 19 hours on the final day.
“Knowledge and preparation are rarely a part of most of us in our attempts to do the impossible.” Unknown.
I hope to be doing the near impossible in a few months. Just being up and semi coherent for the last 1 ½ years is a huge step, just need to push more and more! Once everything is settled, watch out world.