I had lots of hope and aspirations a year ago and some, finally in 2013, are becoming reality.
Sept 1 Sat Suppose it is time to start another chapter. August had a couple of interesting days like the all day visit to the psychologist and the neurologist in Beverley Hills. Other than those, I don’t think there was anything worthwhile. But….there will be a very interesting day at the pretrial hearing coming very soon, can’t wait.
I spend every morning reading the paper and this time I kinda glanced at the car ads. If, when I can drive again me thinks I’d like to trade my Raider 4wd PU in for a Subaru Outback. Three reasons: Lots smaller, easier for me to drive and better gas mileage. Since I’ll never work again there is no overwhelming reason for me to have a pickup other than it would be nice to have. I will wait until my eyes are better before I do anything. I am most definitely planning lots of hiking. Why do anything if I cannot really take advantage of a smaller car? So it really depends if my vision is better and financially able before I do anything other than dream about it.
I intend these words to be a reminder of what is going on with me and my efforts to get better. Towards that end almost everything here is somehow related. I do not, and will not, hang any dirty laundry for all to see, it does not help my recovery and I really have no dirty laundry to hang out. There might be a gripe or two but those are nothing in the grand scheme of things.
This I’ve said before: I am always being told that I walk better, I do, and I look better, I do. It’d be so damn nice if I really felt as good as everyone says I look. One or two hurts would be no problem, it’s just when everything is crap. I know, and I appreciate it that I do walk lots better, all I have to do is look at my excel log to see the big increase in speed and distance. I guess my biggest frustration right now is my crappy vision. Probably new lens would help but I am such a tight butt I don’t want to spend the money when there is a chance I will get to do the FL eye program in two or three months. I don’t know how to express my head not on straight, it’s kinda like just getting off a merry go round. Not dizzy, dizzy, maybe just a little wobbly. Hell. I don’t know.
I took my very latest night stroll tonight at 10 pm – I was so sleepy going up the alley I was tempted to just turn and go back. Hell no, not gonna turn around after only 250 feet or so. Not gonna happen but I did do 1 lap and I did call it quits. I guess a glass of wine might’ve had something to with my sleepiness. Plus I did do a decent 1 mile earlier today.
Sunday I walked 3 miles nonstop, 12 fricking laps! And the last 2 miles were good, about 6:25 per lap on average so I am definitely faster. Now then, I just wish my brain and eye would cooperate so I could see as I should. It still takes me a minute or two or three to get my head on straight once I start walking after I have been sitting for a while. No like it at all, not at all. I think about the only part of me that functions well and without any problem are my knees and ???, Hell, I forgot! My back!!!
Nancy and I were trying to count all the depositions for my case: 2 for me and 2 for Nancy, 2 for police officers, one for traffic analysts, and another one for bus driver. That’s all we know about and there may be more we don’t know about. Close to a dozen visits for me to various doctors, psychologists, and maybe another ophthalmologist. The bloomin eye tests will probably show that nothing out of the ordinary but all I know my vision is not as it should be. So I just don’t know.
Micki and I went to Stater Bros to walk on trails. It’s 1 mile to the tunnels at Bastanchury so it was a 2 miles out and back with good hills on the way back. I did my very best walk so far, I really had to work and actually had a little bit of a negative split for the return and that’s going hard up hill, feels good. Since we were right next to the Sports Complex I remembered we did some walks there about a year ago when I was still using the walker. We went there because it has nice wide sidewalks and no crowds, and I might have done 900 feet on those walks and it was a workout. I really could have done not very much more so I have come a very long ways in the last year. Hope I continue to improve.
Tues Sept 4 Today I went to Dr. Flores, the psychologist, for my first group meeting, what a waste of time. 15 people for an hour group meeting did not make for a good meeting. It’s really more like 50 minutes or less. I think only 4 people really got to say much of anything and then there is another 2 or 3 people that have to say something about everything and they take up a lot of time and waste it. Bullcrapola! The meeting would be so much better with only 6 people. Everyone would have a chance to speak and comment. I’ll wait till the one on one with Dr. Flores and then make a decision if it is worthwhile for me to continue. Right now, very unlikely.
Nick and I did take a little walk on the Courthouse Fullerton Loop for 2 miles, felt good even though it was warm. I have really gotten some good walks these last few days: El Moro with Mick and the Headz meeting, Mick and I on the Fullerton Loop and just now, Nick and I on another part of the loop. Maybe by Nov I might be able to do, and finish, the Chino Hills 10k trail race without having to be carried off.
I think my feet don’t bother me quite as much if I am out walking and I am with somebody, but my vision is still fricky. I go to Dr. Boyce, ophthalmologist, later today and find out if he has anything worthwhile to say. Probably not. Yep, not much at the eye doc. Eye pressure is good, do have the very beginnings of a cataract in left eye, damn. Go back in 6 months.
Crap, I am not me today. I don’t feel bad, just not with it. Just funky feeling all over, feet are funky, little aches in forearm and hand, ankle is so-so, and I don’t like it. No motivation for anything, restless, bored, whatever!!!!
Friday Sept 7: Nancy and I met with Ron yesterday after my group psychology meeting. There was good news and news that could’ve been better. The defense has already paid, or will soon pay, all my medical bills except maybe the hernia tab. To us, that indicates that the bus driver is primarily at fault and they need to pay. Could’ve been better news: no pretrial on Sept 17, but there might be a settlement sometime in Nov. More could’ve been better news. If there is a trial it will not be until Feb. Well, there goes my intentions of my comeback event on Nov 3, it’ll just have to wait a while longer. Damn, and damn!!!!
We did find out there are 6 doctors on the case, 3 for them and 3 for me, and each may make $10,000-$20,000 for maybe a week of testimony. I don’t know if the traffic analysts will be an additional amount. Whoa, it’s a lot of money for this case.
Oh, the group meeting was lots better than the first one. Still, with 15 people that is a lot of people that would probably like to talk and that can’t be done in 50 minutes. Hi! I’m Sam and I have family troubles because of the accident. Next!!!! Not quite that bad but feels like it. Seems to be almost all workers comp claims and that is a whole nother animal.
I do play a lot of Scrabble because it helps, I think, keep me a little sharper, something to do and costs nothing. I just checked my won/loss for the last few games and I do fair for the average player. I lose about 1 of 5 games and just rarely use the help to complete a word. Sometimes I’ll ask where and maybe what letters to use. The dictionary is used lots but I suppose that is not really cheating, just part of the game
I am so tired of everything not being worth crap: vision, head, shoulder, forearm, elbow, hands, sciatic nerve for both legs, feet, right ankle, toes, Did I forget anything? Nope, I am surprised I got everything on the first try and in one sentence. Yeah, PT and yoga seems to give more flexibility but things still ache and hurt. As I’ve said before, I don’t use pain meds and take Tylenol very infrequently. If I were to be “normal” again I don’t know if I would know right away, probably take several days to realize it. Well, I did forget one thing: my hip, how could I forget that? The shattered hip is probably a major problem contributor to the hernia and infection, my right leg and feet issues. At least no nightmares, headaches, or back issues. I am almost tempted to say “So fricking what!” but I am very grateful those I don’t have to deal with those issues.
Since I am talking about me: I understand everything hurting/working poorly on my right side, but my left foot, numb!, and left sciatic nerve? Makes no sense. About all I can do is go to PT and do the DDP yoga workouts. Been doing yoga about a month and I think there is slight improvement but I need to keep doing the workouts several times a week. I really want to at least go out and walk, I am so tired of sitting around all day with my thumb up my butt. Let me do SOMETHING!
Another crappy day. Head not on very well, don’t feel like walking, blah and bullshit! I did walk out front tonight for several minutes and even with a great night, just not into it. Crap. We’ll see how Sunday fares. Oh, I will ride with Nancy and Austin tomorrow go to LAX. Nancy is going to DC and the rest of the family will head out Wed. So that means Wed, Thur, Fri, and Sat I will be on my own, not a big deal. About the only difference is that Nancy won’t be coming in at night. Since she’s comes in so late often that does not bother me.
Just day or so ago I was thinking about doing 6 miles in Nov and right now I’d be lucky to do ½ mile. Just don’t know, just don’t. Well, time to hit the sack, we’ll see if things are better tomorrow.
I do feel better after a good sleep and my head is on straighter this morning. Hope it lasts. I’ve already got one yoga session out of the way and will probably try to do another later today.
9-10 Monday Seems as though I have a bit more energy today and I did a fairly fast late morning walk in just over 27 min. It’s warm but not as bad as it has been. Some decent news: I found my clip on sunglasses in my room. Maybe the cleaning lady cleaned the shelves and put them under my hat and out of sight. At least they are found!
Did another mile at 1:30 pm and in little over 26 min. I looked at my old times and when I first got home in Feb it would take me 12+ min to do one lap. Now I am doing it 6 ½ minutes fairly consistently and I have broken 6 minutes a several times and that is my next goal, a consistent 24 minute mile.
Almost pulled a good one: Thought the one-on-one appt with Dr. Flores was today, it is still 1 month away. Crap, I really wanted to meet with him and vent a little. I went another group meeting this morning, another total waste of time/money. With 16 people a good group meeting is not gonna happen in an hour. If the facilitator moves along and nobody talks incessantly, one does, about half of the group will get to say something. I’m sure that some people do benefit from this kind of meeting, they realize they are not alone in their struggles, either mental or financial. I’ve said it before, I think I’ve done very well with the mental issues other than being frustrated by not being able to walk as I’d like and then taking so long to resolve the legal issues.
I walked twice today, 1 mile and later, fastest 2 mile walk for me so that’s good. Tinnitus does not seem as obnoxious today but vision is still crappy. It’s cooler today so that is helping with my attitude and get up and go. Crud, spoke too soon about the tinnitus.
Went by The Snails Pace today and got some new socks and racing/run schedules. Yeah, I am whileing away the time looking at all the good runs coming up in the next few months. And yes, I want to do the Nanny Goat 12/24/100 mile run next May 2013.. About 3 years ago I did the 24 hour portion and managed to do 69 miles and with a 2 or 3 hour nap. It’s a 1 mile flat loop around a horse ranch in Riverside and a great run, I had lots of fun and I feel like I accomplished something. Next year I am aiming for LMF, or DLM. Least Miles Finished or Did Least Miles! We ultra runners love acronyms like DFL, DNF, DNS, Did Finish Last, Did Not Finish, Did Not Start. I may actually have a new one and it’ll be just for me!
9-13 Thur Hit another milestone today, passed 200 miles walking since Feb 8. Sounds like many miles but…that is less than 1 mile per day for that time period. Still, I am passing everyone on the stupid couch watching TV and it will only get better.
Somewhere I need to work this into my story: I move with sureness and grace of a slime cascading over a rock. It’s not pretty nor fast, but I’ll get there wherever it might be.
It’s still quite warm and I am ready for it be just a little cooler so walkin’ will be a tad more enjoyable. Still, I depise being locked up as a prisoner and having to stay on my block. I know, I know, it’s the damn legal issues still. I am fully capable of walking 5 or maybe 6 miles if it is not too warm. Yes, I said 5 or 6 miles. I can do 3 right now and get me out where I can extend myself there is no doubt in my mind that is I am capable of lots more. A half marathon is beyond me for a long while yet, not even near close.
For lack of anything better to do, I wrote my resignation letter to Greg Wittstock of Aquascapes giving notice I can no longer work as a CAC . Just wrote it so I can revise it many times before the settlement so it’ll be ready to send out when we are ready.
I’ve noticed that within the last few weeks when I lay on my back I can point my right foot straight up and down. For months and months my foot, or bent leg, would always flop over to the right and I could not control them. Now I can hold both straight up and down. It’s slow progress, and I’ll take every little bit I can grab.
Skip and I went to the Farmers Market last night and got to see some old running buddies. It was fun and I caught up a little of the latest going ons. Mostly good news and some, well, a bit unsettling for me. It’s about two former friends that are having legal issues, not with each other though. Snails Pace is still a great group of people, just wish I could be more active, and along with the Trail Headz. I just wanna get back out there and maybe inspire some folks.
Damn, another hot one today, 106 degrees. It was supposed to be about 85 degrees now and for the last week or so. The weather forecasters are screwing up big time. I’m ready for just a bit of cooler weather so I can walk more. Another warm one Sat and then a tiny bit cooler. Still gonna get my walks in.
Still another hot one today so ended up doing a whole lot of nothing. But… I did wash Bella yesterday and Heidi today. In some ways Bella is easier for me to bathe than Heidi. Heidi, I have to bend over or set on the bathroom floor and parts of me no like that. I can set on a patio chair and get to Bella. She does not like baths but really not too bad.
Speaking of no like that: My feet are crappy, ankle is just a little sore and someplace around the hernia incision seems to be talking to me more today (but not red!), but I do seem to be making a little progress on the yoga program, especially the cannonballs. As a matter of fact, I think I’ll revise some notes on the health issues that’s already set up to see what progress I might be making.
I think that if I were not into trail running big time and have such good friends I could see how someone in my condition could drift off into a serious depression. The settlement is getting closer all the time and that does give me some hope. I really so wanna work on me big time.
Oops. I said last week I passed 200 miles walking. Not quite, seems I keyed a number wrong and so it is only 194 miles. I’ll still take it, close enough to round up to 200 J. Nancy and the gang will be back late tonight and so today is another day to strangle. Too warm to be outside and walking, crap!
Thought of another way to describe my head not being on straight: head feels like it is swimming around or sloshing about. It did get a bit cooler today not much and it was late before I did my 1 mile walk. Other than that, nuttin!
Mon 9-17 Bored stiff, I guess all the hot weather for the last week or so drove me inside and made me very lazy. I did, however, do a 1 mile walk about 8 this morning when it was cooler so I may try to do 2 miles in a few minutes and at a slow pace just so I can. Did not happen, heck,I only did 1 lap each with Bella and Heidi, 1/2 mile! I may try to yoga in a few minutes just to do something, I need to do it anyways.
Everyone made it safely back from DC last night, good to have everyone here again. I sent Ron an email today voicing some thoughts on my physical condition. Basically, the same things I’ve mentioned the last few months and I hope that gives him some bargaining power on the settlement. He did tell Nancy that I was one of his hardest clients, hard to deal with because I don’t tell all my aches and pains to the doctors. Nancy has told me already several times I could do a better job of communicating the hurts. Well, think I’ve mentioned this before, I seem to have a high threshold for pain, what is a 4 for me might be very a 7 or 8 for someone else. Oh, being a former ultra runner has enabled me to tune out some of the aches and hurts, so long as it is not too bad and makes it harder for me to be forthright. Used to be good to be able to tune out but I guess I should become more vocal.
The weather has finally turned into the more moderate weather we should have had all along. To that end, I did 2 miles after PT and had several new first for me: fastest 2 miles, fast 1 mile, fastest ¼ mile and I may pay for it a little tomorrow but it’s worth it. When I can finally break free from the legal issues and start really working on me I should be ready to go all out, just not quite yet.
The more I hear from friends about my recovery thus far really makes me want to do a blog and enter lots of 5ks this spring and show up at trail races to help out. I have to admit lots of folks were very concerned if I would ever make it and what I would be. Well, I have made it, sorta. But, I do have my work cut out for many more months. I need to be more flexible (yoga!), build my endurance, get my head on a bit straighter and, of course, hope my eyes get better after I do the Healing The Eye program in FL. Hope to work on all that and do more after the settlement.
Right now about the only thing I can do for more than 5 minutes is FB and walking. I did a SMALL amount of yard work this morning and it did tire me out way too quickly. Maybe when it is cooler I’ll be able to more.
Friday Sept 21 Another warmer day, maybe not too bad. The space shuttle while be flying over Disneyland in just a bit and hope I get to see. I did 2 miles this morning, early, and for the most part, very consistent times except for the last lap when I did push a little. But… I am tired and I still need to do yoga in a bit.
I did see the shuttle! It was over Disneyland and pretty small but we could make out the shuttle and, just barely, the two chase planes. Our street in Fullerton was probably one of the best spots to see it and there were several people from around the area just to see it.
Flashback to May/June 2011. I remember just getting home and we had a hospital bed set up in the family room. I really needed one for a few weeks, just not ready to be in a regular bed and still wheelchair bound. That meant I could not easily get up to go to the bathroom in middle of the night so I had pee bottles, just as I had in the hospital. I musta been drinking a lot of water then for I remember filling 3 bottles a night and one time I remember falling asleep with a open bottle and it spilled. Ugh, embarrassing.
Nancy and I went out to lunch today, I don’t LIKE feeling the way I do when we’re out, just wanna be halfway normal. I don’t mind the drop foot and brace, too much!, but just wish my head was on a bit straighter so I would feel more at ease. No, I am NOT gonna stop going out, as a matter of fact once we’re settled everything, I WILL be out walking lots and going to running club meetings, etc. I just don’t know how I can work on the head part, just don’t know nor have a clue other than being out. Basically stopped using the cane except we when go to Ron’s office or to a doctor.
Hoping that when I do get “back” out there will be a young lady, or two, to keep me company on the long hikes/runs or whatever, just for company of course. I will be more than willing to accept company from anyone, just so long as they don’t leave me out in the middle of nowhere.
Sunday Sept 23 What a frickin’ boring day, little too warm to do much. Nancy had her car washed today and I tagged along for something to do and we then hit the store for some food. Nancy is going to a wedding somewhere down in Tecumula by way of Dana Pt , I did not want to go and so I am here by myself, again. Don’t want to do anything outside but it is getting better and maybe this week it will be really nice. Right now I’m thinking maybe 3 miles in the morning or maybe even 4, we’ll see. Oh, I really need to do yoga too.
Nancy went to a wedding down by Temecula and someone talked her into stopping by a casino for a few minutes. She was there 10 minutes and won $504 on the slots. She left with all the money J Sure hope that’s a harbinger of things to come on my end.
Damn, so tired of not being able to sit, head swimming, crap, everything! Just want something to be better. As soon we get the settlement I WILL spend a little money on me, some, well most is outside the MD stuff, but I think the alternative medicines will be worthwhile shot and I have to do my due diligence to make sure that it might be worthwhile. I did go to one doctor for my feet and I have no doubt he could probably help but right off it was money, $2000 to $7000 and that just turned me off right then.
I think it is probably easier to tell someone what does not hurt rather than go into detail about all the things that don’t work or hurt. Things that don’t hurt and function well: back, knees, left shoulder and arm, appetite is good and I mostly sleep well. Did something a little different tonight – walked in front of the house without ankle brace or cane and in crocs. Course it was dark so no biggie but I was tired and that 600 ft was about all I wanted, and it was very warm too!
Another day: a good day. Walked 3x 1 mile already and did 2 yoga sets. Actually feel half way decent, but still crappy in the grand scheme of things but I’ll take whatever I can get. Lots cooler today and I am more with it. Did another 1 mile with dogs and another yoga so that’s 4 miles and 3 yoga sets! Whoo hooo!
Went to the group meeting at Dr Flores office, still pretty much a waste of my time but still…it is something to do and while I’ve always known people can have really severe medical/financial issues, it does help to put on face on some of the people. I am extremely fortunate, and thankful, I have no unending pain, at least somewhat what mobile, and while we do have financial issues those are not bad
Looks like today (Tues) was my last PT session till I can get some more approved by Dr. Asher and insurance. So…talked Austin into taking a walk with me by Stater Brs where Mick and I walked a few days ago. Really pushed hard, the weather was great, and knocked 25 minutes off my previous time with Micki, 46 minutes vs 1:10 a few days ago. Nearly running most of the way, well..what I call a run. And there is a drop of about 80 ft going and a uphill climb back of 80 ft. with the last 50-65 feet being a definite workout. Yipppeeeee! It helped that Austin carried my cane for most of the way so I could concentrate on moving fast, it really helps not having that damn thing around.
I keep thinking my voice is about “normal” for when I talk with/to Bella/Heidi it seems to be almost ok but when I talk with someone, the voice just does not sound quite right. Frustrating, but if that was the only issue to deal with, I’d take it in a heartbeat.
Wed Sept 26 A cool overcast morning. Not sure how I’ll do once it really gets to be wintertime and handling the cool mornings and overcast skies everyday. Part of me is welcoming the change, the other part is deathly afraid I’ll be freezing my buns even though the actual temperature may only be 55 or 60 so degrees. I remember all too vividly having to wear a jacket frequently while in the HOUSE! I did not want to turn the heater up 80 degrees and run everyone out so I just bundled up and dealt with it. But now, I can do yoga and walk so that might help keep me warm and give me a little something to do.
Did yoga early and a 10 am walk, sun is just now breaking out. Just a little tired from yesterdays walk which was a heckva walk for me and so I’m happy. Got in another walk about 4ish and not really into it all that much. A little tired but took the dogs out anyways so they can get out a bit. As it gets cooler and I get in better condition they will get out more. They actually walk very nice which is good. I am a bit tired, and very bored, but I don’t mind being tired if I’ve done something to be tired from. Just sitting around all day is tiring and that’s crap. I did clean up one of the flower beds today for all of maybe 20 minutes and that’s about all I can handle for now. Before the accident that would have been absolutely nothing to even mention. But now, I think it is a bit of an accomplishment and hopefully there’ll be more.
Went to the dermatologist Thur and Friday. The place on my face is healing but it will be several more weeks before it is really passable. The spot on my thigh was no big deal, go back in 3 weeks. Other than that, it was warmish today and only a little walking. Head is again not on worth a damn and vision is well, yucky. Maybe in 6 or 7 more weeks till a settlement. If not then, it’ll Feb. crap, crap and more crap!!!!!
Sat Sept 29 Another totally worthless day. It’s not that I feel bad, just not in the mood to do a fricking thing. I took a 1 lap walk which was all I wanted. All my go juice is gone, gone. When I’m like this my mood goes South and everything seems to work even worse and that makes me even worse off. So ready for me to have just a little of me back, tired of being yucky.
Posted on FB yesterday: “Halloween is drawing closer and I’m seeing Frankenstein and friends more often. With all my scars, a little pasty do-over and bulking up, I could probably do a stand-in for Mr. Frankenstein, what’da yall think?” Gotta couple of cute comments
Well, I really feel down again tonight, the Headz are doing a full moon trail run up on Santiago Peak tonight. They can be hard runs but what fun being up in the mountains at night under a full moon, seeing all the city lights virtually all around, and being in a big group means virtually no worries about being a midnight snack for a cat that might be about your size! I did a half hearted moon light stroll around the block, hip seems to hurt more than usual. Everything seems worse, damn it.
I just checked the walking log and it is now right at 1 year for the hernia confirmation but it was Dec. 15th before the operation because of the blood clots and blood thinner. If not for that, the operation would have been within a couple of weeks. As I said before, the hernia and MRSA infection was probably a good thing, otherwise I would now be a real SOB to be around cause I would be 4 or 5 more months into my rehab and pulling at the reins to do something.
I am stealing the next few words from somewhere, most of them in kind of haphazard fashion. “I will not make my days full of pity, wallowing, depression, full of doubt, what if’s, regrets, and self pity”. I never look back at that day when everything changed, I don’t remember anything anyway, and think what could I have done differently or why I was there at that particular moment. Really, it is my nature to try appreciate everything and now, more than ever it just makes me want to try harder and try harder I certainly will once everything is settled.
Received from my cousin in Dallas:
Have you ever felt a little nostalgia at a period of your life seemingly coming to a close? Remember that when a door closes, a window opens. It’s an artform to learn to turn our attention from the closed door and to the window — Not only to it, but through it, into the possibility of what is next In your life right now, there are some doors that have closed, or are in the process of closing. At the same time, there are windows opening, inviting you into this next stage of your life. Accept the invitation. Look through the windows. Pay attention. Enjoy The View,
Yes, there have been doors slammed shut and I am looking for the open window, just hope there is not a tornado outside waiting to invite itself in. Right now I feel like I’ve been in bed for days, weeks? No energy, don’t really even want to walk, or do yoga. I am just ready to move on. Part of the reason for no energy is it is hot, again and will be for 2-3 more days. Everyone is so ready for cooler weather.
We celebrated Haley’s birthday a little early today, we all went to Super Mex and enjoyed ourselves, me especially with a margarita. I still can’t find my voice worth a damn, don’t like being near an invalid or at least feeling like one. I can’t say I had the time of my life, oh it was enjoyable just wish I was more me to enjoy.
At one time I semi-toyed with the idea of becoming active with the Headz running group again, I’m pretty sure I could get reelected as President again if I were able be active and take part in some activities. I really would like to see how and what I could do as President. Now, I just don’t know. My voice seems very soft, can’t articulate very well, and I would want to do well if I were president. If I can’t, I’d rather not. Well, I have over a year to decide and when the time right I may go for it if I feel up to the job. The “I just don’t know” seems to be one of my favorite sayings for the moment.
“I don’t know” seems to be recurring all too often and I know no way around it. Probably better than “I can’t”
Enough for Sept. and time to see what October has in store.
As I review this in Aug 2013 I see the Sept pretrial hearing did NOT take place. Right now I don’t know why but I suppose it was postponed to a later date. Have no idea I did not gripe about then.