Chapters 12, 13, and 14.

 

Another Year – 2012- Has Gone by

Jan 1  Tuesday 2013   Another year has begun.  Will it be another year of mostly ho-hum or will there be true excitement?  In 2012, there were some minor reasons for joy; I gave up my cane and wheelchair for good. I am still limping along like a drunken sailor but I am getting there, wherever that might be.

Originally we thought all legal issues would be settled last fall but the trial was rescheduled and is now mid Feb. and once that is past I’ll know if I should be blubbery happy or just be glad it is over. Either way I will be able to get on with rebuilding me.  I will be showing up at more events and as a sometime participant.  Unless a huge health issue is thrown my way, I will use lots of walking, and being around friends, to try to become semi-normal.  One bright spot that will remain regardless of legal outcome is my tagline  “I really was hit by a bus,  What’s your excuse?”   I do intend to play it up as much as I can.  I will let several friends look at this mishmash journal of words and use whatever suggestions they might offer so others might be able to face the world with a bit more hope.

There was some good news to start the New Year off right.  Will, our new neighbor across the street, invited us over for a traditional Japanese New Year celebration.  Will is Portuguese but his wife is Japanese so that explains the Japanese tie-in.  Here are a couple of photos from the spread, all I can say it was a feast for the eyes and the taste buds went wild.  They are such a great couple.  Carol, Carolyn’s mother is explaining all the goodies.

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It is indeed a small world.  One of Carol’s friends, Vicki, brother is part owner of Ink-N-Burn, a more high-tech running apparel manufacturing based here in OC that caters almost exclusively to ultra runners and trail runners.  Turns out, we know many of the same runners and we had a wonderful time talking about running.  I really would like to meet her for coffee or lunch sometime.

Damn it, damn it, I am cold, I am too warm, I cannot stay comfortable at any temp for very long. One extreme to the other all too quickly and all day long.

I am going to try to venture out at night for semi-daily walks around just so I can stretch a little and perhaps get a little time and distance on the feet for the upcoming Brea 8K in Feb.  Damn, I hope I everything is settled by then and can go the run/walk.  I will not note every walk but maybe note when I do something faster or longer.  The Excel spreadsheet has all the walking info.

Just a call from Nancy, she talked with Ron today.  Seems the ophthalmologist I went several weeks ago is going to be a real tough SOB.  He’s seems to think my glaucoma is the sole cause of any vision issues I have. Never mind the hard hit on the head and 2 month coma. Looks as though my regular ophthalmologist and optometrist could be selected as expert witnesses  or as witnesses if we go to trial.   The defense will NOT be able to contradict their testimony. I feel pretty good they will help my case, as much can they legally and professionally.

I don’t know if I had more energy or if just stubborn.  I did 2 yoga sessions, took the dogs out for 2 laps each and then another mile hoofing it. Another bit in house like  packing up Christmas lights etc.

Friday Jan 4  Another several days have passed and right now, I feel like crap:  hip hurts (first time it has really been noticeable in months), vision is crappy today, ankle is cruddy and mood is crappy.  I posted on FB several days ago about drooling over new trail shoes and how I could not use them but dreamed vicariously about using them.  A business friend suggested The Law of Attraction and Pat, Nancy’s sister, also suggested it along with several others.  I might get Mick to take me by a used bookstore to see if it is in stock.  Gotta find one first.

I guess I’ve always been a skeptic about the power of positive thinking.  It seems the only people that unfailingly benefit from the power of positive thinking are the many authors and people that heavily promote it and get rich. But, I suppose it may actually help some people keep a positive outlook on life in spite of their circumstances.  There seem to be many stories about how people have benefited from it so there might be some truth.  Regardless, I will try to smile and keep the ole chin up and go with the flow.

Mick and I are going to the Winter Trail Run Series at Camp Blue early tomorrow.  Many friends will be there and since this a totally unannounced visit so there may be a few surprised people.   I will even walk just a bit since the weather should be just perfect. That is, if the hip does not talk back to me too much.

Dang it, crapola, been cold again all day and it is such a nice day, a wee bit cool but very pleasant,  so why the hell am I cold?

Mick and I did make to the WTRS and it was so good seeing friends again, just wish I could be out on the trails with them.   I actually walked a small bit on the single track trail, oh I miss it so.  Maybe next year I’ll be able to at least walk the 12k.  Probably have to start as soon as it is light so I can make it back in a reasonable time.  It will just have to be added to my bucket list along with some other runs that are bouncing around in my head.

Baz  – The Great RD for the WTRS  Image

Image                                                                                                      Doug Malewicki, an old running friend

 

 

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Keira a long time running friend and RD              Jean Ho – a long time SoCal Trail                                                                                                                                      Headz friend

My little accident may have altered my perception on life. The NFL playoffs are in full swing, the NBA is moving on, the NHL may/may not start in a few days and do I really give a rat’s ass about any of it?  No, nada, none will have any impact upon my life other than traffic congestion if I were to be around a game traffic.  Many  players make  $$$$ millions per year for playing with a stupid ball.  Nothing they do improves my life whatsoever and they make no improvements whatsoever in things that really matter to society.  Same goes for Hollywood and most entertainment.  I am vastly more interested in people overcoming adversity or becoming more attuned to real life and making life better for all.

Tuesday Jan 8    Well, I took down the big ass Christmas tree Nancy got for us.  That was probably a 3 hour job by time I got it outside, cut it up to fit in the trash can, cleaned up inside and out.  I sent her an email saying if she got another big tree next year, she would be responsible for delivery, setting it up, and taking it out.  You’d think I don’t like big trees?

Damn, hip was hurting a bit after all that, maybe a bit better tomorrow.  Hope so because I go back to exercise class, see the dermatologist Thursday, and do just a bit of grocery shopping.  I am tired of being so tired so damn wussy, I used to be able to dig and shovel gravel all day, outwork almost everyone that worked with me and now, I am just a wimpy wuss.   I guess I really am over the hill, damn it.  Maybe in about a month when everything is settled I might be able to see if I can make real physical progress in walking and just being alive.

I may call Dr Fry, a psychologist, today and set up an appt for next week.  I just find myself being less and less motivated, don’t really give a rats ass about much of anything and I am not even anxious to go out walking or doing yoga .  It might be low T and Dr. Asher’s office is working on the insurance angle but we’ll see what happens

I did it, I called Dr Fry and have an appt for next Monday at 3.  His office is very close and that helps.  If it so happens that if I feel like it need to see him again in a few months he is close enough I could walk, that is if I can get any semblance of endurance back.  You know, I am really getting tired of everything that hurts or works poorly:  feet, shoulder, legs, eyes, you name it.

Along with everything else, I seem to be lots more tired, and sleepy, I am so ready to try to get better.  I suppose, though, I’d better be thankful that I am good as I am even if I am beat up all to hell.  Still gonna gripe about my head not being on straight, head swimming, and tinnitus. Oh crap, screw it all.

Things are moving right along.  Ron, our attorney, called and I have a 10 am appt with Dr. Kreidi at 10- am tomorrow, Friday, at 10 am.  Should be fun since I will have several hours of testing.  I like him but he can be just a little difficult for me to understand with his accent and it is a long ways to his office.  At least traffic should not be too bad at time of day.   I thought I was going in next week but I guess Dr. Kreidi, or someone, changed it to Friday.  Makes me no difference.

Nancy and Mick went to Ron’s’ office today to watch the video of me being hit by the bus.  Nancy had already seen it, although briefly, but Mick, I think, had a rough time watching her Dad being wiped out by the bus.  It appears I might have been trying to beat the light, I don’t know.   It is, however, very clear the bus driver was not paying full attention and would have been able to significantly slow down or stop.  If he had been alert I probably would have made through or at the most, suffered far less massive injuries.

Friday Jan 11  Nancy took me to Dr Kreidi’s office today for a follow-up.  The last trips for testing took 3 days and 2-3 hours each day.  Today, it took all day and Nancy thought we would be done by 1 pm, did not happen.  There was an EKG, lots of nerve testing on the legs and arm, vision tests, and a couple of others.  Don’t remember them all.    Dr Kreidi commented I had made significant improvements since my last visits in May.  Perhaps so, but as I as I flounder about with all my hurts, head swimming, and vision sucky it is difficult for me to firmly grasp and believe that am I that much better.

Dr. Kreidi seems to believe that if Nancy were not around I’d probably need some sort of assisted living help.  Such as taking care of finances, house chores, and getting around.  And Nancy too! They believe my “executive making decisions” are maybe not what they should be. Maybe so, but I’d like to think if push came to shove and I really had to be on my own I could manage, particularly with Mick being so close by.  The big fly in the ointment is finances, if there were no bills other than utilities, no credit card or mortgage to pay  then being on my own probably would not be insurmountable.  I would spend lots of time just walking all over the place and hopefully waling lots of miles.

 

houghts that are just bouncing around i

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EKG testing at Dr. Kreidies office

Had lunch with a couple of old Snails friends, Skip and Mike Miller, and it good getting out.  I did ask Skip to join me for lunch for a reason.  Ron seems to think if we go to trial there might be some Asians on the jury and as a group, it can be prone to be hard reason with them.  If I can get several running Asian friends to testify on my behalf, the odds of a good outcome are much improved.  I have no desire to get tons and tons of money as some people do, but I would like enough to live comfortably and do some stuff around the house.  As I said a long time ago I’d give it all back to have another 1 ½ seconds to get out of the way of the damn bus.  Not only am I losing 2 years of my life, I will NEVER be able to enjoy life as I did before the accident. I hurt all over but not enough to become addicted to pain meds.  Am I at fault? Maybe to some small extent but the video clearly shows the driver NOT being attentive.  Enough on that for a few more weeks.

Another rather chilly night for Fullerton, 37 degrees or colder but it turned out to be a bright cool day.  I took Bella out for 3 laps and then Heidi for 3 more laps for a total of 1 ½ miles.  I am winded, guess it might be because I am forced to do just the block and I have difficulty just lollygagging around.  Oh, the Garmin has an instant pace per mile and that encourages me to push even harder.  I can get down to 20 min/mile for a 100 yards or so.   One of my goals from a few months ago is to get consistently a 20 min mile.   With Heidi I can do a 22-24 minute mile with just a fast walk, no sorta running.  This, in spite of my feet and vision being crappy.

Looks like the epidural has been approved so that might help, most anxious to try it out. I am seeing 4, I think, doctors at Coastline Orthopedics, I need to call and set up 2 more appointments and find out which doctors are seeing me for what (hip, shoulder, elbow, back?)

I go in to another MD, Dr, Chan, for a disc evaluation and go from there for the epidural.  Oh boy, another dr that is way booked up, can’t go in til Feb 27.  Damn, wanna go in next week.

Jan 14 Monday   What a nice day.  Man, I wish I could either really work and make money or go out walking somewhere.  It is five weeks till the trial, it’ll be both here sooner than expected and it will seem to take months to get here.  Either way, I can almost counts the weeks on 1 hand.  Next week, it will be just one hand counting the weeks.

I did talk with a couple of Asian Snails friends and they will probably help, just time off from work or babysitting might be the key impediments. Think I might be able to get Yvonne Miller to help on the babysitting and we will be more than will to pay for Liz’s time off from work. Probably need to call Ron today and see what all he needs.

I am trying to get the exercise room straightened up just a bit, the problem is we have waaayyyyy too much damn stuff.  There is a good storage room out back but it is full of old toys, clothes, blankets and other stuff of which 90% can be given to Salvation Army or charity.  I’ve been in the mood to clear useless stuff out and not really getting much help. With a bigger house, more stuff just accumulates.

I did see Dr. Fry, the psychologist, yesterday and it was interesting.  We talked a bit about my journal and the therapeutic value of it.  He said most people, in order to get the most of it, vent their anger and frustrations and fully intend for it to be very private.  I am fully intent on making my journey a blog so it might help others and to that end I have deliberately not written anything that might upset a close one.  I suppose a part of the reasoning for the blog is for the attention.  I really want to make a comeback, of sorts, just to be out with my friends and taking at least a little part of the runs/races with my old trail friends.  A longtime running buddy, Greg Hardesty, is a reporter with the OC Register and he will do a fun story on me.  I am waiting until all legal issues are resolved before the story is printed.  There is a remote chance I might even be able to have a story in Trail Runner Magazine.  Whoo Hoo, that would most certainly be a highlight of my comeback.  I do gripe about me and my frustrations, limitations and not about relationships. But, I suppose a little venting MIGHT be in order so long as it is kept low key.  I might sneak a couple of sentences in here and there.  If I do gripe, it will be mostly concerning me, frustrations and/or legal issues.

Jan 16 Wed.  I feel like crap today – don’t feel really bad, bad, just crappy.  Feet/toes hurt, no energy, I don’t know if I would even go for a long walk even if I could. I even have a big pimple on my butt that is bothersome. Austin will be here in a while to take me to a appt for a follow up doc appt. and then to exercise class. I WILL go even if I am not in the mood for it. I will be so happy if anything gets better and I don’t even realize it at first.

I signed up this morning with Fullerton Community Ctr for fitness/exercise classes.  The first class, Jan 28, is just for evaluation and getting to know the equipment.  We are fortunate that Fullerton has a new community center and it has a big pool, small fitness room, lots of meeting rooms, etc.  I’ve been attending the exercise/balance classes with Kenny, another Snails friend, and it does help.  Now if a sauna was available I would be most happy.

Jan  18 Friday  This has nothing to do with my accident issues but might prove interesting.  I went to a clinical trial center yesterday and spent 3ish hours or so signing up for a study involving aspirin. I will take either aspirin or a placebo for several weeks/months and then be checked to see if ulcers develop.  It will pay $1200 over several weeks.  Right now, we could really use the money and it seems safe enough so I will go for it.  I will keep this updated if anything interesting develops.

I am really becoming most concerned about the trial, Feb 19th, and the monetary issues.  I suppose at one time that I thought that we would get a decent settlement w/o too much of an issue.  But, since the defense conducted some focus groups they have apparently really become a hard ass hence the reason for only a $100,000 settlement offer.  I suppose since they have paid off the medical bill, even if only pennies on the dollar we should be grateful they have done that much.  I might mention our insurance paid $1.6 million of about $2.1 million billed by the doctors and hospitals.  That is NOT pennies on the dollar.

Fortunately, we have never been involved in litigation such as this before and have little idea of what to expect.  The scant clues we have as to a potential settlement was 3 times the medical bills from several people and then there was the case by John Wayne Airport where a shuttle bus hit a bicyclist.  He was awarded $6 million even though he was wearing black at night, no bike lights, and apparently on psychotic drugs and marijuana.  So, you can see the vast difference between their offer and this one.  The BIG issue is me.  Was I trying to beat the light, went through the don’t walk light, was the timing of the light not good, or was it TOTALLY the bus driver not paying full attention when going the intersection?  Maybe a little bit me?  In spite of the focus groups that might have been swayed by the insurance adjustors I, and everyone else, believe the driver clearly had a monetary lapse of attention.  EVERYTHING hinges on that.  Nevertheless, as I understand it, if someone is in the crosswalk, they have the right of way even if they are wrong.

Ron wanted the trial in LA but it is Santa Anna.  He is concerned because there may be a number of Asians on the jury and supposedly harder to deal with in litigation.  To counter that effect I have 4 Asian friends that will testify on my behalf so that may be a plus for us.  I really don’t have any one I rode with except Skip and then only once or twice. I probably should ask Ron if he wants Skip since we ran and did a small amount of bike riding together.  If push comes to shove, I could get literally dozens of runners to testify on my behalf about my safety protocol.

Just got a call from Anaheim Clinical Trials and I have been turned down for the study.  Something to do with stomach test, I had a hard time understanding Peter because of his accent.  At any rate, he will send me back to the doctor that recommended me.  I guess there is no other choice but to go on.  It did not seem to be anything very serious and I will find out in a week or so.  Cruddy dud, I want a semi healthy me, at this point, semi semi-healthy will do just fine.  Don’t need any more issues!

I saw one of my neighbors tonight and he commented that I walk better and I look better.  Damn it, I really want to feel as good as I look.  This is really starting to get old.   On another note, I seem to see double a bit more frequently.  Don’t know is this is good or bad.  I guess seeing double is good because that means there might be more vision in my right eye.  Now, if my overall vision would get better and head stop swimming I would be extremely happy.

As I ponder my situation I feel I am most blessed.  No major family issues that could be an impediment to my recovery, really no extreme financial problems, and medical insurance has been quite good so no complaints there.  I guess my biggest gripe is me. I want to so badly to be back to semi-normal .  If the only pain I had to deal with was the hip and I could start getting some of my old endurance back I think I would be ecstatic.  Sometimes, one has to be on the very bottom to fully appreciate normal. That applies to alcohol and drug issues, mental problems, and of course, physical constraints.  Oh, we do have financial issues, Nancy has taken 30 or 40 thousand out of IRAs to help pay for my bathroom remodel, and for just everything that comes up in life.   Many would be devastated by similar circumstances.  Not being able to work and having my bills definitely has made things financially challenging. There’s lot I want to get/do and ALL to try to get me back: an infrared sauna, Elliptigo bike, some alternative medical treatments that seem to be promising are the biggies.  As I said a long time ago: no round the world trips or such, no $350/400 night hotel rooms or lots of expensive diners.  I just want to get back out on the trails and work up some real honest sweat.  Speaking of alternative medicine I just remembered an email from one clinic stating they now accept Blue Cross,  I will call Monday or Tuesday to get the scoop on that and hopefully get to go in soon.

Sunday Jan 20   Tomorrow  is Austin’s birthday, 21.  He is growing up and he is doing ok.  Now he just needs to get a real job or go to school.  But….if he does anything I will be between a rock and hard place because I depend upon him to get around to all the doctors appts, physical therapy, errands and whatnot.  We do pay him cash for all his time and he probably makes almost as much as working part time.

We went to Costco/Best Buy for a little shopping and, damn it, I wish my head was on straight.  No, I am not having a panic attack or even close to it but it does feel uncomfortable.  I just read about someone that had a onset of Alzheimer’s and the drugs were not doing anything.  His wife, who is a doctor, found out that ketones are integral part of the brains wellbeing and that a new trial drug was derived from coconut oil.  He was started eating about 2 tablespoons of coconut oil daily and within just a few days there was marked improvement. The improvement continues and so I got a little coconut oil just to play around with it and see if it happens to make any improvements in me.  If it no worker have I really lost anything?  I am to the point I’ll will at least consider a lot of things that seem to make sense.

I do the due diligence about alternative medicines such as the coconut oil. I could find no double blind studies with coconut oils and the effectiveness of such.  There are just anecdotal stories that sound good but have no basis in sound science. Nevertheless, there seems to be no harm in trying for a few weeks.

From FB :Andre Kajlich just finished one of the hardest mountain ultra marathons in the world, a sport dominated by athletes using mainly their legs and he has NONE! 135 miles in 62.5 hours… This is the kind of inspiration I am seeking and maybe hope to give to others.  I commented I need all the inspiration I can get and one of the VERY best ultra runners made another comment on my comment.  You know, it does feel good when someone of her stature acknowledges me.  Yes, I spend a LOT of time of FB but it worth it.

I rarely spend very little time bemoaning my circumstances, it is what it is.  Dwelling on unfortunate past events is likely to bring forth a lot of negative thoughts and is likely to do me no good.  I try to visualize me being back out there on the trails amongst friends and moving forward.  Thinking positive thoughts just might get some sent my way.

I sometimes, especially for the last 2 or 3 weeks, I have no get and go to do yoga or exercises.  About the ONLY thing I can force myself to do is walk.  Crap, if I could get out go and somewhere I could easily spend 2 maybe 3 hours just doing a slow and easy walk.  I did get almost all the Christmas stuff put up in the storage area. Now only just the snowman and big wreath are left to put up and I will get Austin to do that. Also, worked on the front water fountain and we do need a new pump.  Maybe after while I can get Nancy to go by Home Depot and we can charge the credit card $110 for a new pump.

Shit, my head sucks big time.  No, it does not hurt like a headache but it might be kinda like a very tight band being wrapped around my head.  Tinnitus, if that what it is, is also bugging the hell out of me today. I don’t know who to go to or what they might be able to do.  Hell, I can’t even describe my feelings and if I can’t describe them how the hell is someone suppossed to help? If my head and vision were better I could handle all the other crap that hurts.

Another day:  Feel  a little more with it today, did some yoga, sit-ups, house vacuuming, and playing on FB.   Ragar, the relay race people, is having their first trail relay in Utah this year and damn it, I wanna go.  I did the Wild Miles 122 mile relay in Borrego Spring several years ago and it was a blast.  This looks even more fun since it looks like a lot of the course is true trail.  I’ve added it to my Dream Bucket List for 2014 along with Trans Rockies.

As the days slips by I feel less and less energetic but I may try a short shower to see if that will revive enough to walk around the block several times.

Wed. Jan 23   Things might finally be shaping up:  Ron just called and the city attorney has offered low 6 figures for the signal timing in the accident.  That is a lot more than the initial offer by the bus co. God, I hope their being an asshole will turn around and bite BIG them time on the butt.   As I understand it, the city council will be meeting Feb 5th and it should be approved.  Yea!!!!  Nancy just told me the defense ophthalmologist is saying because of the slight tunnel vision I had before the accident I should not have even been driving.  Never mind I passed the vision test and have vision results from an ophthalmologist and a optometrist that  indicate otherwise.   I have a good driving record and no complaints from anyone about my driving.  Now he is saying I should not even be walking along a busy street. Yes, I am somewhat apprehensive about being on a busy street IF there is NO sidewalk.  It will take time for me be really comfortable around traffic because of the accident and 2 other fairly close calls.   I hope Ron makes an ASS out of the defense ophthalmologist and the defense insurance and they have to pay BIG TIME.

There is some confusion about the charges/expenses from Ron but I am not going to say anything to him right now.  After everything is settled, it will then be the appropriate time to hash out all the charges and expenses.  Nancy will do most of that and I will offer my opinion if needed.  Ron is charging 30%, which is an excellent fee; most other attorneys charge 40-50% Ouch!  Good thing Nancy and I both have the utmost trust in Ron and he will take care of us.

Nancy mentioned again that my improving physical condition will probably reduce our settlement.  No clue as to how much.  It’s a damn if you do and damn if you don’t.  I do want to get better and there will be a very tough road to get much improvement in me now.  I walk, I don’t suffer intense pain, but….. I do hurt/ache all over, my mobility sucks, my vision sucks, head not on straight, and I can’t drive.  That’s gotta be worth something.  Oh, Nancy did tell me the defense has done computer simulation and I was in the crosswalk, although just barely.  She thinks that is a big plus for us.  Hope so much, I just wanna get this over and done.

Crap, weighed this morning and oh boy, I am up to 170.  I was down to 163 in early Dec but I seem not to have gotten much of a bulge so that is good.  Not sure what I’ll do next.  Eat more smoothies??? Exercise more, walk more???   Went to PT this afternoon and had a new therapist, Julie work on the ankle.  She is a runner, knows about ultra running, and she did a great job working on my ankle.  She now my favorite, by far, therapist.

Tonight, I snuck out of the neighborhood and walked down Lemon to Commonwealth and back thru the college for a 2 plus miles walk.  I tried to push for just a bit so I can do at least halfway decent for the Brea 8k, provided I get to run.  At any rate, it will do me good.  I managed 25:13 per mile for 2.2 miles.  If I can do that about 6-8 more times I will be able to do the Brea 8k and feel good about it.  I remember first I took a walk thru Hillcrest Park and it took me 1 hour 22 min to do 2 miles.  Last night it was 2.2 miles in 54 minutes.  I’d say that is an improvement.

After reading about the Ragnar Races as a whole I think I might take it off my bucket list.  I remember all too well that some of the directions in the previous races were not all that good plus there will probably be a huge mob. Just not ready for that kind of hassle. If a smaller relay race became available in 2014 I would seriously consider it.  Oh, I just found out one other major problem with the Ragnar series is they seem to have No respect for the dates or courses that have been well established for years by other races.  It looks as though they might be getting some backlash over their tactics and I, for one, will, no longer support them.

For some the mental, emotional, and heart-wrenching consequences of grief, despair, fear, helplessness, and then hopelessness are the greatest challenges of all. For me, I suppose the physical challenges are the greatest challenge.  That along with my head swimming and my sucky vision seem to defy my best effort at finding a way to make myself better. My determination and drive is never been in doubt.  I even try to have humor, even if a bit of gallows humor, at myself. I am so grateful the knock on my head did not turn me into a blathering whatever or just “not there”.

There is a severed nerve in my right leg so I can just barely move my toes a little bit.  It’s better now because a few months ago I was able to just barely SLIGHTLY wiggle the toes and had very little feeling in feet.  I’ve started to focus a lot on stretching my calf muscles and trying to exercise the toes.  I really have to concentrate HARD to move them and when I finish, I feel like I just had a good workout w/o doing anything.

Sat  1-26    Today was the fateful day, 2 years ago.  Considering everything, I guess I am lucky to here and half way functioning.  I did take Bella and Heidi out for .5 miles each.  I hauled arse with Heidi and got down to about 22:30 min mile for over a lap, I’ll gladly take that time since I used to be about 55 minutes for a mile which I could not do.  According to Garmin Connect I topped out at 18 min pace  Maybe so!

Posted on FB yesterday and have 20 likes and several positive comments.  This is making my day!

“Today is 2 years since the day. There are several other anniversaries right around this time of year, don’t need to bore everyone. Still here!!!”

I  am pretty sure I have a positive reputation among my runner friends.  Here are some comments from my FB  posting.

CarriAnn Clark Gravitt I am so glad you are still here ! Truly a blessing

Lorraine Gersitz Yay Leon!

Dawn Vonderheide You go guy! You are awesome. You are an inspiration to all of us!

Don Gerdts You are still my hero, you tough ole cuss!

Denise Reno Bacher Very grateful that you are still here!! Love you, your determination, and your strong spirit.

Since I don’t get out very often these type comments do make me feel good.

Sunday Jan 27  Just browsing around some of the running clubs stuff.   Found this photo that brings back many, many fond memories.  Cannot believe it has been FOUR years since that day.  One of the biggest regrets I have is NOT having more photos of my many runs and runner friends.   Doug was 70 at that time and still going strong.  There are high hopes in my future that if my physical does not crash.

 

  • New Year Day 2009

I hope to be able to do something worthwhile in the coming months.   My first big step will the Brea 8K in about a month.  I need to get more walks in.    Now, if I could get my head on straight.  It no hurt, I just don’t know a good way to describe the feeling.  Tinnitus seems to originate somewhere in the ear and may be ringing that a person HEARS.  I don’t think that is me, my mind seems to hear a noise kinda like an electric motor and just feel slightly woozy.  Of course, with my vision issues that makes everything much worser.  Good thing I am not sick with the flu or hurt so much that I need pain meds.

Bad weather allows us to fully appreciate the good weather, a good analogy for life!  I’ve suffered thru the worst of the storm, I hope, and looking forward after we get some money from the city to really start on the way back to an acceptable level of recovery.

Just trying some ankle exercises and I noticed if my heel is supported I do have some side to side movement but it is mostly leg muscles doing the work.  If I hold my leg up it is a different feeling, I can turn in a little and just barely to the right.  Pushing down I can do pretty good, pulling the toes up, no go!  Left foot is better in all respects except for the numbness.

Outside of good FB comments today has been a SHITTY day:  head is really swimming hard, hearing is funky, and just don’t feel very chipper.  I go meet someone in the morning at the fitness room at the Fullerton Community Ctr.  I really would like to go at least 2x weekly, maybe 3x weekly so I can try to get some strength back in my legs.  Hope I feel better in the morning.  Nancy is supposed to wake me early and I will take a LONG HOT shower.

This morning I did take a hot whirlpool bath and still feel like crap.  For the first time in weeks, it took me nearly 3 hours to get to sleep and even then, it was not that good a sleep..  Leg spasms also for the first time in a long time, but not nearly as bad as before, did not help.  Still have no single big hurts anywhere but head and eyes seem to be more crappy.  Damn it, I just wanna get better.

Went to Community Ctr to get started on the fitness workouts.  On most of the tests, I was in average zone, maybe just a bit on the lower side of the  average scale for flexibility and balance. I will be going at least once a week for a good hard workout.  All things considered I think I did pretty damn good.  2 years ago I would have been way above average on everything.

Afterwards we went to Craig Park where I did a long walk and hauled big time.

Split Time Distance Avg Pace
Summary 51:25.6 2.70 19:03
1 20:26.7 1.00 20:27
2 17:49.0 1.00 17:49
3 13:09.9 0.70 18:50

I shattered all my PRs today for the last 2 years:  Fastest 1 mile walk and fastest overall average on  a 2.7 sorta run.  Yes, I may pay a bit for this tomorrow but I do I really give a damn?   NO! Just hope I can recover by Wed to be in a good mood to exercise. Even after several hours of doing nutin I am still draggin and we’ll see fast I recover.  Really wanna do it again in a 2/3 days.  I well remember my walks when I first ventured out of the neighbor and did about 2 miles in a 1:22, much faster now.

Here it is Monday evening about 8ish and beat, this still after a 2 or 3 hour nap this afternoon.  I’ll do a long walk this time in a couple of days.  Gotta get my endurance built up. 

Tuesday Jan 29   Still very tired from yesterday, maybe because I did not sleep worth a hoot last night. Think I finally went to sleep around 3 am.  Boo!!   I need to change back door locks because one is trash /does not work and the others just look bad.  I also got a new pump for the front fountain, gonna try to switch it out later.  I don’t know where to put this:  I was looking at the Calico 50k results from this last weekend, I would have either WON my age group or gotten 2nd place.  Damn, I miss being out there seeing what I can do.   Most of the course is fairly easy so I MAY try to put that on my dream bucket list for 2014.  The 30k, not the 50k!

The big news is that it is 1 week till the city council meets and approve their part of the settlement.  This will bring some sorely needed cash.   From what I’ve heard approval should be done w/o any problems. The big date, the trial,  is only about 4 weeks away, can’t wait.

Probably time to do some serious thinking about myself.  I was in great good shape for an older guy and that undoubtedly helped ensure my survival.  If I had been a couch potato I have serious doubts I would be here now.
Also being in good condition probably contributed to me pulling thru any number of obstacles I later faced such as, high sodium levels and whacked out electrolytes.  Later, the MRSA infection, leg blood clots were a setback. l have other mental and physical issues that continue to impede me.  There are probably other issues but right nowI don’t remember. Two years after the accident I am still recovering and trying like hell to get back some of the old me.  There was huge support from my running clubs friends and they helped Nancy out big time.  Most of the visits have now fallen off but I still keep up with them on FB.  I just wanna get everything wrapped up so I can work as hard as I can and try some alternative medicines.  There’s a lot of hype and outright lies out there and I intend to seek out the very best to help me.

I did a lot of trail races, mostly shorter ones in the 7 to 24 miles and a several  50k’s.  The Atlinks web page helps me remember some and so I’ll try to give some highlights from 3 or 4.   At the Calico 50k in Jan 2010 a run I well remember  and was just starting down a very steep rocky trail in a narrow canyon.  Several of the ladies, instead of running down, were on their butts scooting down.    I was very carefully sorta running down when Fred Pollard, a good running friend and probably about 69 at that time, came by and just bounded down the rocks as though he was part billy goat.  It was amazing seeing him do that and he never once seemed to seem have any troubles.  We were probably 6 or so miles from the finish and he beat me by a good 15 minutes.  Oh, I helped on his crew at Badwater several years ago.  He did the whole 135 miles thru Death Valley and part way up Mt. Whitney in 44 hours and 45 minutes.  He qualified for the coveted Silver Buckle with 15 minutes to spare.

Skip Rogers and I did a 30k at Endure the Bear at Big Bear in Sept 2010.  What a great run up the mountains at about 7,000 to maybe 8,500 ft.  I had no problems with the altitude but Skip says he had a headache most of the time.  I almost did one loop of the course twice but fortunately, a volunteer got me going right.  I finished in 3:49 and came in first in my age group.  As I’ve mentioned several times, I am a, was, a tough old fart.  As we were     driving back down the mountain I started having the worst leg cramps I’ve ever had.  It hurt so back I got in the back of the truck so I could stretch out and let Skip get us most of the way home.

I can’t forget the 22 mile night run in Santa Anna mountains 3 or 4 years ago.  A small group of us, most of them trail running because of me, decided to try a night mountain run.  The weather was perfect and the stars and the city lights were awesome.  Right now, the only thing I remember is going to the Death Star, a weather station, on the Main Divide and then eating breakfast at a Denny’s about 3 am.

I worked on our front yard fountain today replacing a pump.  There are several issues with the pump I will tackle soon:  the fittings don’t quite fit they should and I can’t get the power cord thru the conduit.  My arms look like they were beat with a hammer: bruises all over and they are not pretty.  No, I did not do anything horrible, just  bruised from trying to change the stupid pump.  I think the bruising may be a combination of the accident and getting older.

Image

Does NOT hurt!

Thur 31   Considering how crappy I slept Monday night after the hard workout, Tues night was ok and Wed. night was wonderful.  It’s no fun not being able to go to sleep until 3 am!  I did a first yesterday: after the balance/mobility class I went over to the gym and worked out hard, my arms were spaghetti last night.  Oh boy, I needed that and lots more.

To finish out the month:  From a very good runner friend, Doug Malewicki.

Image

 

 

 

Chapter 13  Feb 2013

Feb 1  Friday  Nancy was telling me Ron had some depositions today and the defense attorney was there.  They (defense) can’t decide if I was a vehicle (bicycles are subject to traffic laws), or a pedestrian.  At any rate, if a person is in the crosswalk they have the right of way. He also admitted I was in the crosswalk, maybe just barely, before the light changed. The ophthalmologist also admitted I could drive before the accident, before he was saying I should not even be driving.  As I understand it, Ron made them look like fools.  Yea!!!!  They will either offer a real settlement number or we go to trial.  Me thinks perhaps a trial might be good.

Did 2.1 miles around the block:  .75 with Bella at about a 28 min pace and 1.25 with Heidi at about 25 min pace.   I am happy with the walk.  I also got in some yoga and will do arm weights a little later.

I sent an email to Anne Hjelle, the woman that survived a mountain lion attack, and said I would hope to meet with her sometime if she is ever in the area.  She has a moving story and I hope to emulate some of it in my journal. Her book is “Skin Deep” and well worth reading.

Right before her attack the mountain line killed another bicyclist, Mark.  He had a favorite charity to raise money to buy bicycles for intercity kids that have never had a bike and she became a huge part of the charity.  I don’t have a favorite charity but maybe in a month or two I would like to help with the Snails Pace Running Academy.  One class is especially made for beginner runners and some need all the help and motivation they can get.  As I think about it, it would certainly help me a lot and hopefully inspire some new runners.  There are several runners I helped/inspired to take up trail running.

About 3ish months ago I started wearing socks to bed to help with my cold feet.  About that time I started wearing my Crocs as house shoes.  The old slippers just did not seem to offer my right ankle and support and they were becoming very lopsided. Besides, Crocs are really comfy.

Skip and I are going to help at a race down in Long Beach – Surf City, Sunday but dang, I’ll have to get up around 4 because we need to be there at 6 am to noon.  The dogs got to go out today for while to go around the block – Bella and Heidi at a 6:50 lap and 27:47  ave mile pace  and Heidi  at  6:12  each lap for 26:30 overall pace.  I did have a  20 min/mile pace as a goal but I think it should be revised up to a 25 min/mile pace and go down at a bit at a time.  Maybe after the trial I can go out away from the house and get some different times and distance.  Yeah, I’ll take each dog out, they need out  but one at a time.

surfcity2delete surfcity3delete

 

 

Monday Feb 4   I pulled a good one yesterday.  I put my Garmin by the camping chairs I wanted to take in case to Long Beach if I needed to sit for a while.  We loaded, and started looking for the Garmin. I was going back into the house to look for it but both front and back doors were locked and no key!   Forget it!!  After we got through with the race and I got home I started searching for it.  Looked all around where the camping chairs were, looked outside, around the curb and even to the back yard where I was going to see if it was in the house, no luck.  Later, Nancy asked if I was missing the Garmin.  Uh oh, something not quite right, the Garmin did fall out along the curb.  They are tough but probably not up to a car running over them. Damn, I need to tie a string TO EVERYTHING and not put stuff in my lap.  I forget they are there and stuff falls to the ground, phone or whatever.

Our attorney, Ron, called Nancy today and the defense is making another offer, a little more than 3 times their last offer.  If the original offer was 3 times more than this one it MIGHT be a good starting point for negotiations.  As it is this last offer is still a big load of bullshit.

I don’t know why but I get so sleepy doing the day.  I probably would be asleep before I hit the bed if I were to fall towards it. Crap, don’t like it.  I’ll go back to Dr Vu, a neurologist, soon and ask her about it.  I suppose if I could really get out and about I would force myself to take a long walk.   I’m gonna miss my Garmin for a few weeks but I can track my distances easy enough with Google Earth or a I phone app and I’ll just wait until after the trial.

Seeing as I will never be building ponds I have already have a letter I want to send to Greg Whitstock, the owner of Aquascape and the supplier for all my pond equipment. I coulda sent this a year ago but wanted to wait until after the trial.  He is a very down to earth guy but he is high energy and very focused.  I am proud to have been associated with him and the worlds largest pond kit manufacture.

As I was rereading “Skin Deep” by Anne Hjelle, she mentioned she had deep puncture wounds which  reminded me  Nancy told me I had a deep ugly puncture wound on my right elbow.  I suspect that may be the reason for the numbness in 3 fingers and why my arm will still not completely straighten out.  I knew nothing about it until just a day or so ago.  Well, that’s another big hurt that healed while I was in a coma. What else am I going to find out about me?

Part of the reason Anne has such a good book is that she remembers everything about the attack and everything afterwards.  I’m sure she was terrified of the memories but it seems she has come to accept it for what it is.  I know nothing about the accident or 2 months after since I was in a coma.  I have only a vague recollection for several weeks after I awoke, just remember bits and pieces. No memories means no nightmares and for that little bit of providence I am grateful.

One thing she mentioned is all the emails and letters: some were heartfelt and wishing her a speedy recovery and others, well, there are always mean, stupid dumb asses out there.  Anne’s husband is a martial arts instructor and

 

one mean, dumb person thought that kind of work was work of the devil.  Of course, those kind of letters/emails are  almost always sent anonymously since they have not the courage or conviction to say who they really are.  I have not become a celebrity so no emails or letters for me, just a lot of visits from people that really cared about me.  As I reread her book I might make some more comments about her story and how it relates to me.

I just replayed the Trans Rockies video again.  It’s 6 days thru the Colorado Mountains and at altitude.  Most of it looks pretty runable even for me.  Only a couple of parts might be technical for me. If I ever get out where I can really push myself I will do it in spades, it is certainly on my bucket list for 2014.

Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!  I am really pissed big time; the trial is now postponed until Mar 4.   Really, really pissed off and I will ask Ron if he will significantly increase our demands.  F____, now I am beginning to get very greedy.  I’ve mentioned before I no want/need lots of money but I would like enough to take of my medical needs, do a tiny bit of travel for trail races (if I can), do a little around the house, and help the kids.  If we do get a substantial amount there are some charities I would like to help.

So I guess this also blows out any chance of me doing the Brea 8K, damn it all to hell.  I had great hopes of making it my comeback race (walk).  There will be dozens of friends there and I so wanted to make a splash.   The way I feel at the moment, I don’t think I’ll even show up, just in a too bad a mood and will be for weeks more.  The Fullerton City council met on Tuesday and we still don’t know if they approved any funds for us.  This is another issue that is really making me in a foul mood.

Thur Feb 7   Crap again, more not so good news.  The city council did not approve the request submitted by their own attorney, Harry Potter and it turns out he is the one that asked for the trial delay.  Hopefully, he can get the council to approve.  That’s all I know for now.  Maybe next week I can find out more.

I’ve said it numerous times, if I only I had one hurt or my vision was ok I would be a much happier camper.  But then, I look around see all the people that are having it far worse than I both physically and mentally.  It is at that point I know I am not so bad off: I can walk, sort of!, have no nightmares or mental issues other than being an old fart, have no need for pain medicines, and I do continue, albeit very SLOWLY, to show improvement.  Being an old fart just does not help with the healing processes.

I just remembered, I think I have not touched on why I was mtn biking that day 2 years ago.  I rode my bike primarily as a way to get some cross training for trail runs/races.  I nearly always did long, steep hills hoping that would be of help on my trail runs.  I very seldom went like a “bat out of hell” on the downhills but I would sometimes get the excitement juices flowing just a little.  I suppose that is why I never went head over heels or even came close.  I enjoyed group runs but on virtually all my bike rides I rode alone and that day was no exception.

It’s not really a long story why trail running became such an important part of my life. When I first started running I did lots and lots of 5 and 10K races all around the Dallas Ft Worth area.  After several years I started hearing about “hashing” – a drinking club with a running problem.  I hashed in DFW, Atlanta, St. Louis, and some out here in CA.  I just did not enjoy the groups here as much I did in the other places so it became infrequent and I also started back to school at Cal Poly Pomona working on yet another degree. Somewhere about this time, I stumbled into trail running here and become hooked. The friendship of trail running just seems to more real and deeper than pure road running.  The beauty of trail running is unsurpassed and it so close to home.  Within 6 or 7 miles we can be in thousands of acres of rolling hills with nary a house in sight.  Just a little further and we can be in the real mountains where one can get into serious trouble if not careful.  Even if I did get into trouble it probably would be better than being hit by a bus.

Sat Feb 9 As I was working on my journal last night when Nancy came in late, stopped by my desk, looked at my computer, and said, “You’re not sending that out to anyone are you?”   The journal has always been kind of a touchy subject because she is afraid I will write something that is perhaps best left unsaid and somehow it will end up causing big trouble.  I have always been very careful not to name call or put blame everywhere for my current challenges.  Anyways, we blew up at each other and this is the first time in weeks and weeks we’ve had any kind of more than a minor disagreement. I just want to try to get me back, or at least some of me back so I can start enjoying life again.  It’s the damn Catch 22 again, damn if you do and damn if you don’t.  If I improve too much/too fast there is a real possibility of significantly less money.  I think everyone that has been thru trying times like this would gladly give up the money just to have another 1 or 2 seconds to get out of the way or at least lessen the impact and thus the hurts.  It looks as though it is going to be a tough fight to get anything reasonable.  Their first offer was so bad it is not even an insult.  The 2nd offer, if it were 5 times more, would be a good starting point.  It’s to the point if they make any kind of reasonable offer we have seriously consider it.    At this point, I’d be surprised if those A holes know what a reasonable offer is. If go to trial and we get a fair award there is no doubt there will be an appeal and thus be another whole year or so before we have any monies.  We just can’t wait that long.  I’ve been a good boy for over a year and now I, damn it, just want to move on.

Julie, my new physical therapist, has me doing visualizations about moving my toes and doing exercises. For no more energy than I’m actually expending it is wickedly hard work w/o doing anything. Along with those exercises, I have really started doing lots of heel raises – stand on foot and lift heel.  A few months ago I was doing them and realized my right foot was just along for the ride, I could not do even one heel lift with my right foot.  Now I am up to 15 right foot heel lifts, although just barely.

The noise in my head seems to have abated over the last few days but… ack, seems to be coming back today and worse.  Oh, I did enjoy the quite while it lasted. Just want something to heal so when somebody tells me I look good I can really take it to heart and not fib when I say “Thank You!”

FB was good to me yesterday: a good trail running acquaintance left a note and said she might come by next week to visit. Keira is an elite trail runner that looks like a goddess: tall, very well built, tan, very outgoing, and thinks nothing about going out for a 30+ miles fun runs on the trails.  I am very glad to have her as a friend and super excited she might be able to stop by for a few minutes.   I really hope she can come by.

Monday 2-11  The legal issues of the last few days are dragging me down, I just don’t want to do much of anything, have no interest in tv, especially anything to do with the Grammys, basketball or whatever.  As far as I am concerned they are a TOTAL waste of time as they have absolutely no effect in my life, NONE!  I have not gotten in even a short walk around the block for several days and I was hoping to be out doing multiple laps getting ready for the Brea 8K. Something good needs to happen very soon or it another event I will not be able to do.  Well, the Nanny Goat is up in May and it WILL it happen.  I don’t give a flip about what anyone says. Damn it!!!!

Nancy and I went over to Ron’s office today to get up to date on all the legal issues. The Fullerton offer is only ¼ of what we thought was going to happen. The Kelly Thomas case, mudslides, and other issues and such have put a huge dent in what the city thought they could offer.  We were not really counting on that money to start with so I guess a quarter of something is hell of lots better than nothing so we told Ron to accept it.  The bus company has paid most of my medical bills so we are off the hook for that but that might be good and bad, we’ll see. Hopefully, they will increase their last offer up to where it is acceptable.  Again, we’ll see what happens.

Another shitty day:   Just in the mood to do not much, not even to walk. It has been days since I’ve walked and I seem not to give a damn much about anything. Sure hope my foul thinking turns around soon. Nevertheless, I will put on a happy face Thur. when Keira comes over.  Don’t have clue if we’ll do anything but whatever I’ll be happy.  Thur will be a busy day.  As soon as she leaves I need to get Austin to run me down to Nancy’s bank so we can take some flowers to her and then hurry back for a PT session with Julie.

I did exercises at the Comm Ctr today, got some flowers for Nancy, did a little grocery shopping and finally took a 1 mile walk with the dogs.  So it turned out to be a fairly busy day but the head noise is still  bugging the hell out of me and crappy, vision is still crappy and so what kind of day did I have?  Not real good, but coulda been lots worser!  Oh, the negotiations on the accident are still ongoing so Ron is going to ask for $x.x and if they accept we will accept so we can move on.  So ready to move and try to get myself better.

Thur Feb 14th  It’s hard to believe but yesterday was 47 years, yep 47!!!, ago I met my bride to be! Been a great time but have to admit there have been some little bumps along the way but no major bumps other than the accident. That’s longer than lots of my running friends are old! I hang out with the younger ones for a reason.   Posted on FB and got 23 likes in one day, yea!

Keria and I did go get coffee and talked about lots of things.  I told her that the Nanny Goat is on my list for runs this year.  She said she would be there to walk with me and help me shatter the LMD record in a 12 hour period.  Least Miles Done!!!!  I could live with that.  I have no doubt there will be lots of friends cheering me on.  You know, I could handle a little attention.  I just need to bid my time until we settle everything and then I will make some remarks to the world that I am back.

After Keria left Austin and I delivered the flowers we got yesterday to Nancy. I think it made her day.  I went for my weekly PT session this afternoon and had a great workout with Julie.  Unfortunately, tomorrow is her last day and goes to N. Hollywood for more training.  She was one of my very favorite therapists and I will sorely miss her.  I did tell her I am on FB so maybe she will stay in contact with me, I hope so.

Tues Feb 19    Been a rather quite last few days.  Did a lot of nothing til yesterday when I took 3 separate walks and did 3 miles.  Yes, a bit tired last night, especially since we went out for my birthday.  Scored another Garmin 610 to replace the one I so stupidly lost out by the curb where it got ran over and kinda smashed.  I will watch this one like a hawk and keep it safe.

Talked with Ron for just a minute this morning and asked if he could get another $25-30,000 to pay for some alternative medical treatments I want to try ,an infrared sauna, and maybe the Elliptigo bike. Basically, we’ll have to wait and see what the defense offers and go from there.  As I was expecting NO GO for the Brea 8k this weekend.  Damn it, I am so pissed and bummed out I could….. I don’t know, something.  A year ago when I first got home from the MSRA infection I was planning some stuff that were several months out and figured I would have time to get into condition to at least make a short stab at something. But alas, not a damn has happened and I am still confined to walking around the block.  I did modify the route just a little with some out and back and still stay in the neighborhood.  The new route is almost exactly .5 miles and it does help a little.  Still, whenever Nancy is going to be late I may try to sneak out and walk the streets in downtown Fullerton.  Gotta do something. I think only a runner understands my frustration.  About to go out for a lap or two even though it is chilly and drizzly.

Maybe in the next few days I’ll start painting a little in the house.  There are several areas I will NOT attempt to paint. Several years ago I painted the living room with the 18ft walls and the circular staircase walls and it was a big challenge then.  Now, no way am I even thinking about it.

While I think about it, I got around 60 bday wishes on FB.  Even though I’ve not been around much for the last 2 years it is good to be remembered. FB is far from perfect it is still a great tool for keeping up with lots and lots of friends.  Not that long ago, it would have been next to impossible to keep in touch with more than a very few friends and now it is easy to keep up with 100’s of friends.

I suppose the 3 miles of hard walking yesterday might have had an effect on me today.  Oh, I also  had a hard worked out at Full Comm Ctr gym and then I enjoyed a 3 hour nap late this afternoon.  Suppose not being able to get warm encouraged me to snuggle up even more in the blanket and go lights out!

Nancy showed me the video of the buys hitting me.  Yes, it actually shows me in front of the bus a split second before the impact.  The defense is claiming the windshield pillar created a blind spot so the driver could not see me.  BUT… the same video also shows him closing his eyes or nodding 3 or 4 times just before the accident and clearly shows he was not being attentive.  Plus, the cars next to him and across the street were stopped or going very slowly.  It is my considered judgment the majority of accident is his fault.  I may have been trying to beat the light but I just don’t know.  Whatever, I supposedly have the right of way even if I am wrong.

Ron seems to think all the defense will offer is a pittance.  If we go to trial, and lose, I, just me and not Nancy, would be liable for maybe $300 or $400,000 in defense bills.  That may not be so bad since I have nothing.  The house and all the IRAs are all in her name and she is not part of the lawsuit.  I would just declare bankruptcy and be done with it.  Yeah, tough decisions coming down the pike soon and we’ll just try to make the best of it.

Sorta of energetic today so did 3 miles and getting close to one goal of 25 min mile.  2nd mile with Heidi was 25:30 and 3rd mile with me was 24:35.  The last one I did have to move but I am happier.  Not happy, just happier!

Going to text Nancy and make sure she and Ron consider the following:  4 years lost wages for me, bathroom remodel at $10k, the 2 month live in nurse, all the withdraws and penalties from her IRAs, pain and suffering for me, and never be me again.

Friday Feb 22  We’re screwed.  The defense did 3 focus group trials and all 30 jurors in 3 mock trials found me at fault.  Surprised everyone and that puts a whole different spin for our actions.  Of course, Ron would have done a much better job of defending me than the mock attorney. Since I can’t testify on my behalf it does not look good so we’ll probably take their offer plus the city offer and have some money in hand.  Not near as much as we originally wanted but… That’s Life!!!.  At least all the medical bills are paid.  Yeah, we could go to trial and get something but it would have to be a pretty significant amount for us to come out much ahead.  If we were to lose and I declared bankruptcy, they could still go after Nancy since CA is community property.  It’s a big time sucky decision but maybe definite a poor amount is way better than an excellent lot of nothing.  I think we’ll go with the money and wrap everything up so I can get on with trying to get me back.

Since I am no longer being watched, if I ever was, I am starting the weekend off semi right.  Took Bella out for 1.3 miles to the college parking lot with a 28:17 pace and I then took Heidi out.  We got in 3.8 miles at a 24:21 pace.  But…. I am beat, tired, and so may do a little California stretching exercise.    Read, Nap!!!!

brea8kyendelete

 

I did make an appearance at the Brea 8K, saw lots of old friends like Yen, The Energizer!

Somehow I think the photo was flipped backwards!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Monday Feb 24  Had to wait all morning and part of the afternoon for the ADT repairman to come in so I am really late in getting started on  longish walk.  Probably take Bella out first and then Heidi.  Not sure what I’ll attempt because right now I could use a nap.  Even though I don’t do my exercises as I should nevertheless, doing yard work, getting garden ready to plant, etc involves a lot of stretching and, for me, hard work.  So yeah, I am doing something physical almost every day.

Bella got to walk 1.22 miles at a 28:26 pace but she was a pain for just a bit, did not want to go!!!  Tired???  Heidi, well I walked her little fanny good, 4.2 miles  at a 23:55 pace.  My goal was 25 min/mile for a longer walk and so we nailed it today.  Just need to keep it up.  Oh, did it without really running, just a faster rpm walk.  Total today was 2 hours and 35 minutes, 5.5 miles and 533 calories so I might deserve a beer tonight!.

Even though I was somewhat beat I took another longer walk today.  This time to Ralphs and then on to Garden of Weeden for a total of 3.25 miles at 24:?? pace.  Happy!   Then took the dogs out for another block lap. Time for something worthwhile to sip and enjoy.

Feb 28 Thur     Last day of month and it looks like it is going out ok.  One of my witnesses received a call from our attorney yesterday and it is official for him, there will be no trial.  I’ll wait to contact the others to see if they’ve gotten the call.  As I said, the money could be more but the numbers just don’t add up and given the verdicts of the mock trials and having to pay the defense costs if we were to lose, it is just not worth the risk.  Besides, we could have to get a sizable settlement to come out ahead and that is iffy.  So, the book is almost closed on that chapter of my life.  Now I can really work my skinny buns off and go from there. Speaking of the settlement, I saw Ron yesterday and the defense wanted to back out of their offer. As they say, “Tough Shit” we have already accepted your offer.

Walking is coming along quite well, I’ve done 8 something miles this week and a long walk of 4.6 with Heidi plus another 1.2 miles with Bella for 5.8 miles in one day.  Yeah, I was some tired for a couple of days but that is expected.  Not really sore, sore which great but a bit tired.  I can live with that.

 

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From Cali, store manager at Snail’s Pace Running Store

This pretty well sums it up for me.  According to several doctors I am not even supposed to be here, let alone walking as I do so I’ll gladly take some aches and stuff that don’t work worth a damn.  But… I sure wish my vision was better and could drive.

Friday March 8   My total mileage last week was 18 miles and is the very most I’ve done since the accident.  But this week, not gonna happen, other than going to PT and exercise class I’ve not done much of anything this week.  Today has been rainy, cold, windy and I cannot get warm.  Still think the infrared sauna will do me lots of good, maybe in a week or so I can order one and start enjoying.  Nancy and Ron both think the checks from Fullerton and the insurance company will arrive any day.  Not as much as we wanted but something is a hell of lot better than nothing.

Chapter 14

Mar 1 Friday    I go to talk with Bill and Cali this morning at the Snail’s Pace where I will propose I take part in the running academy 101.  Since I have do not a charity I actively support but this might be a way to give inspiration to beginner runners, but I’ll not pay the course fee.  I do not expect any kind of reimbursement just want to help in whatever way I can.    The thought just occurred to me, it might help make a better story for Greg and the OC Register, I still would like very much to least make a mention in Trail Runner magazine.  Tks to Anne Hjjella (Skin Deep)  for the inspiration.

The meeting went very well and they are very supportive of me taking part and being an inspiration.  I am not in this to be an inspiration but I do want to help beginners, and me. The next class will be beginning at the end of March so there is a little time to get into much better condition.  As it is, I’m probably in better shape than most of them.

Pouring it on walking this week:  Today I took Bella to over to Hillcrest Pk for 1.2 miles at a  29 min pace which was not too bad.  Then Heidi went on the Fullerton Loop and almost to Laguna Lake for 5 miles at a 23 min pace so total of 6.2 miles in not quite 2 ½ hours.  Even after 4 miles I could still do a 23 min pace w/o too much of problem.  We made it back just barely before it got really dark.  15  miles this week and still 2 days left in week, whoo hooo!!!!  I think it is time to rethink of goal of 25 min miles.  Maybe move it down to 23 or 24 min mile for a few days and see how that works.  My big goal is 20 min/mile for a few miles.  Maybe in a few long weeks I can get there.

Mon March 4  Did enough miles yesterday to get in 18 miles for the week.  Most I have done in over 2 years!!!  Little bit tired today but I’ll survive.  Today was supposed to be the big day:  day of the trial but since we signed all the paperwork for the settlement last week the trial ain’t gonna happen.  The money is not what we wanted but a little of something is a much better than a lot of nothing and maybe going into a big hole.  Oh, the neuropathy vitamins might be working some because after 2 months my feet are a little better.  They are still numb and flacky but I do not feel like I’ve been playing soccer with a bowling ball.

Nancy had gotten a small tikki party bar several years we never used and had kind of turned into trash so I dismantled it, saved the wood to burn, and tossed the rest. Did a little cleanup around the RV area and that was about the extent of my efforts for the day.  Otherwise, I’ve been kinda yucky, not feeling bad, just the head noise seem worse and just generally, screw it kind of attitude.

Just finished reading “Heaven is For Real” about a 4 year boy who went to heaven.  Normally I don’t frequent the more religious books but this one is very worthwhile.  This is about a boy who nearly died in a hospital and went to Heaven where he saw Jesus.  Course a 4 year old is not capable of writing a book but his dad is a pastor and the story is told with his help.  There is another girl, Akaine, who also went to heaven and is a child prodigy painter.  The painting below is by her and is the one the little boy picked out from hundreds of Jesus paintings.  The story is “Heaven is for Real: A Little Boy’s Astounding Story of His Trip  to Heaven”  Todd Burpo and Colton Burpo the son.

 

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Jesus by Akaine

 Of course the skeptics are out there big time but there is simply too much that is not easily explained.  It does provide some worthwhile contemplation. Also heard rumors that a movie might be in made sometime not too far off.

Wed Mar 6  Seems I’ve read several stories about life and death in the last few months.  Due to whatever the authors survived to tell about their experiences:  Rebooting My Brain, Skin Deep, and now Heaven is for Real.  Those people have vivid memories of their fateful day whereas I am completely blank for 2 ½ months after my accident and now 2 years later I foggily remember only bits and pieces of my time in the hospital.  I do remember coming home and my memory seems to be mostly ok.  I know a lot of names of my running friends but I need to say “I’m sorry but my memory sometimes is not there, and you are?”  That seems to work pretty well.

Back to what I was going to say about the authors:  Did they survive for a reason or was it just luck and happenstance?  I sometimes wonder about me?  Did I survive because I was a ultra runner in great shape?  That helped greatly but, nevertheless according to several doctors I should not be even be here much less even considering some bucket list runs I’d really like to do.  I need to think lots more about my survival, recovery, and why.

This really has little to with the physical me but my oldest daughter is getting married at the end of June.  Nancy is putting the hammer to me to get lots and lots done around the house since the wedding is going to be at our house: painting, refinishing the floors, getting the yard in wedding shape, and on and on.  All it takes is money, and it seems to be  quite a lot.  Oh, I consider it as an investment in the house.

Mar 11 Tues   I will probably feel it big time tomorrow, walked 5.5 ish  miles at 25 min pace.  I did the whole Summit House with all the hills and only stopped for a couple min to chat with a biker.  But… stupid me, took the Garmin out w/o a full charge so I am just making educated guesses at the time/pace, with help of Google Earth.  Whatever, it is the hardest and furthest walk yet.  Need to do lots and lots and lots more to even begin to think about doing the Trans Rockies in 2014.

As tired as I am the 2 dogs got to go for a ½ mile walk. Bella does pretty good most of the time but she can be a real handful, especially with Heidi, and I consider that a good workout for me. Ok, I’m 166 pounds vs 112 for Bella, get the picture?

Friday March 15  An uneventful last several days:  Went to Dr. Chan, a pain specialist, for the epidural shots yesterday and they might be working a little.  Feet still numb but I think a little better.  Dang, my hearing aids are a bit funky so I walked over to Fullerton Hearing Center thinking that they closed at 5 pm. Wrong, on Fridays they shut down at 3 pm and I’m going with Skip Sat morning to help a mutual friend on something she doing for kids. Not hearing worth a damn is going to be a challenge.  Plus we are going to some kind of breakfast and again, hearing well may be a challenge. So anyways, the long and short, just hearing may be problematic.

Hip is bothering me just a little, if it gets no worser I think I can live with it.  It might be because I’ve been pushing the walking a bit and even today did 3.2 miles walking to the hearing aid center.  Also did another mile with the dogs and really pushed hard, 18/19 min pace!

In preparation for the June wedding, I have been seeing contractors about floor refinishing, metal entry doors, and gazeboes.  Everything is going to be $$$ but I look at it as an investment in the house and if we decide to sell in few years all the heavy and expensive stuff will already be finished. Floors – $5,000ish, metal doors – $6,000ish, gazebo -$4,000ish, and painting inside will not be too bad. It’s only money.  It does make me do a lot so I look as that helping my rehab.

Skip and I went to Corona today so he could take photos of the kids trying to earn a t-shirt for running 100 miles during the school year.  Annalise, a mutual friend, is big into this so this was a way to help her some.  I did do a mile but during the last little bit my hip and hernia incision (?) hurt like hell and had to stop for a second.    It took a couple of hours to feel “normal” (whatever that is) again.  Going to the Headz meeting Sunday morning at Chino Hills and I just don’t know if I’ll try to push either speed or distance.  Play it by ear and see what happens.  Turns out I did not go, damn it, I was so looking forward to it.

Damn, damn, damn.  I have been very fortunate that I have had no unbearable hurts for the last year.  That is, except for today.  It seems the area of the hernia incision is not at all happy today.  Hurts like hell-When I was walking Bella I needed to stop for a minute and then tried to take Heidi out and only made it to the corner before I turned back.  Sona bitch, looks like I will have to go see Dr Asher Monday and see if we can figure out what is going on.  It looks normal with no redness or sensitive to the touch, don’t have a clue and all I can think about is not good.

I really don’t mind being tired IF I have earned being tired by doing lots of walking or something around the house.  What I don’t like is feeling as though I’ve been kicked in the nuts, feeling that like right now.  I really was not kicked but apparently by stretching a bit too far the hernia incision place is NOT HAPPY.  It’s been over a year since the surgery but I am not surprised because it took about 2 years for a kidney removal to completely heal. I guess it just takes time for all the muscles and stuff to knit back together well.  And it will definitely take longer now since I am 35 years older and getting to be, as they say, an old fart.

Time to whine a little bit.  I just want something  to heal completely, anything.  Feet, ankle, vision, head noises, elbow and fingers, shoulder or hernia incision (maybe just a groin pull!).  Must admit, though, the only thing that really hurts at this time is the stupid hernia incision.  Everything else just does not work worth a damn.  I am LOTS better but I should be lotsa better.

Mar 20 Wed.  Since my “Hit by a Bus” shirt is more public I am starting to get good comments of FB.  I like that!  I think I am about ready to start on a blog.  Probably I’ll let a couple of friends look at the journal and let them make suggestions on the best way to proceed.

The stupid groin pull was not happy yesterday morning and it took several hours for me to move semi normal.

Every day, the groin pull seems to be a bit less bothersome and painful so maybe next week I’ll be adventurous enough, or stupid enough to start walking some distances.

Friday Mar 22   Finally, I signed up for the Nanny Goat 12 hour run in May.  First time in over 2 years I’ve been able to sign up for something and do it, so looking forward to it.  Posted on FB and within a hour or so there were already 26 likes and 16 comments.

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 To celebrate being with Old Goats and Trail Headz.

Hard to read the engraving on mug but it an Old Goat!

March 31  Easter Sunday  Nothing noteworthy in the last few days other than the groin pull is lots better so maybe tomorrow I will start walking long and no doc visit.  Been busy around the house getting ready for the wedding so not missing the long walks all that much and have not done exercises as I should but the working should be a good substitute.  Oh, I did go the Snails Kick Off Party Sat for the 101 Academy,  I think it will be fun and hopefully help get back in a regular rhythm for walking.  Starts April 9th, whoo hoo!

Everyone came over for a quiet and enjoyable Easter dinner. Nancy did not spend all day cooking and Mick made some stuff so it was an easy and most enjoyable day with family.

Walked a mile Monday at a 32 min/mile pace and that was really all I wanted.  Tuesday was a bit better: 1.5 miles at a 30 min/mile pace.  The groin pull seems just about healed and I am ready to start taking the dogs out again, may try it tomorrow.  I’ll be doing a lot of wee-wee walks:. A wee bit more here and there, and a wee bit faster here and there.

As time moves on I most likely will be posting less and less.  Only the more important stuff will be remembered here.  I hope most all of it will be fun and uplifting with no more big setbacks, I have had way too many.  Little setbacks, like the groin pull, are in the grand scheme and really amount to nothing.  Looking forward to next week when the Snails 101 academy class really starts.  I hope I can motivate people to do more than what they thought they could.  Again, I have to thank Ann Hjelle for the inspiration.

“Happiness comes from moving toward something.  When you run away, often your misery follows you”.

Went to my first Running Academy101 class, it will be especially good for me and hope to help others become runners and become more fit.  1.32 miles at 23:22 pace and not too bad, groin pull is just a wee bit sore.  This is first time I’ve really pushed on the walking so Wed. I will probably try to do a wee bit more and harder.

I walked to the community center today, 2.6 miles round trip but I think just by stretching a bit I may have stretched almost too far again but hopefully I will be better tomorrow.

April 8 Friday  In spite of the groin hurting like a SOB I have done 6 yoga workouts in the last 8 days, a record.  Getting a fair amount done around the house but it is most a bit here and a bit there.  Nancy did call today and Ron said the big check was supposed to be Fedex’d today so it does not come in today it surely will be here Monday.  Finally, over 2 frigging years to settle.  Can you believe 2 years?  I just looked at my notes from a year ago and I thought we were pretty close at that time.

April 10, Sunday  The last several days have been cool and cloudy.  Yucky for me since I freeze my behind off so easy and once I do get warm, I cannot stay warm.  Maybe tomorrow the settlement checks will arrive at Ron and we can finally get out money.  Will not be able to do what I envisioned a year ago,  but…most of the the bills can be paid, the medical has already been paid, and about the only thing we will owe will be Nancy’s new car and the house.  If the mock jury had not been so overhemling (30-0) NOT in my favor, we probably would’ve tried to get a little more.  As I said before, the defense cost of maybe $400,000 looming over us if we lost was a huge factor in taking the little money offered and running.

Tuesday April 23  Finally some good noteworthy news. The bus company check came in today and maybe tomorrow, we’ll have money in our checking acct. The city’s check will be in tomorrow and all will finally be over so far as the legal issues.  It has been a long 2ish years getting everything settled.  Now maybe I can start really working on me, bout fricking time. As I’ve said, the money is not what we wanted but all things considered, we’ll take it and run. Just thought, the bank will probably put a hold on the check for a day or so but I can handle that, at least the check is HERE!

We went to Ft Worth this weekend to see my Mom, who is in a rest home, my 50 year class reunion, to check out our first house in Arlington, and see my cousins again.  Mom is doing a lot better than we expected which is great. The blowhard guys in school are still blowhards. Only recognized one or two ladies, even with their high school photos as name tags.  Still, good seeing everyone.

Nancy likes me to use a wheelchair at the airport because we get boarded first, security is fast, no lines, and I really did not mind this time because the damn groin pull still bothers me quite a lot at times. Plus, I am moving along at a speedy 1 mph, or so, pace so it takes me a long time to get anywhere.

Sunday April 28  Feeling wholly crappy these last few days:  feet suck, head sucks, just generally blah.  But… the good news is Austin and I will go get the new sauna tomorrow and close to Oceanside.  Coastal Sauna had a demo model just like I want for $1000 off.  Already have the electrician coming out Tuesday to do the dedicated circuit it needs.

May 1 Wed  We stopped by one of my pond suppliers to pu some stuff for the pond.  The manager and I talked for a few and he commented on how good I look.  Damn, I am Tired of looking better than I really feel.  My feet hurt, are numb, head is NOT on good, ankle is very stiff and hurts, vision is crappy, groin pull is a little better, and head noise is still around.  As I’ve said numerous times “If only there were only 2 or 3 physical issues, besides head/eyes I think I could manage quite well.  I am so damn tired of being ganged up on by everything.

We got the new sauna up and running yesterday and so it is bout time I grabbed a cold one, go sit, and get, or at least try,  to get some of my frustrations sweated out.

Might post on FB if I can get the wording right.  According to several doctors, I am very lucky, I should be pushing up daisy’s.  With my luck there will be several dogs marking them as dogs are wont to do.

May 7 Tuesday  groin pull seems to be a wee bit better but, crap, feels like another week or two off would be best.  But… you and I know I will not slack off any more particularly since Nanny Goat is just right around the corner.  Oh, getting the floors refinished and the house is a mess.  Good thing someone else is doing all the work.

May 17   Sat  As predicted the postings as getting fewer and fewer but maybe not less important.  I did get another epidural this week and it seems to help my feet.  It may be a combination of lots of infrared sauna time, walking more, and maybe just a wee bit better attitude.

Been really busy with the house: getting floors refinished, having walls painted, checking on other  projects Nancy would like to have done, yard and pond work so time has most certainly been flying by.

In exactly 1 week, minus 5 hours, I will be doing the Nanny Goat 12/24/100. My first event in over 2 years and super excited, apprehensive, and semi ready. In the wee dark recesses of my mind I’d really like to try for the 24 hour walk but reality kicks in and I know full well that is way beyond me for a long while. I sorta kinda have a semi goal in mind but so long as I go forward I will be happy. Beats hell out of pushin’ up daisies so the dogs can have fun marking their spots!  Posted on FB!!!

Walked to Laguna Lake with Heidi and it was a great walk for me. I remember all too vividly when I could do, just barely, 45 min mile pace.  Today I was able to get a sub 20 min for quite a while.  Not that long ago I used to sorta run to get that kind of pace so I am most definitely  improving, yeah!!!!!

I’ve had my Brooks running shoes for almost 2 years and the Nanny Goat will be their last run and after that they will be junk shoes and be retired and looking forward to new shoes.

I did order the camera I’ve been wanting, an Olympus TG2.  It’s waterproof to 55 feet, freeze proof to 15 degrees, drop proof up to 7 feet and has lots of features I want such as very good low light capability.  Hope this gives me incentive to be out more on the trails and hopefully,  I can find some worthwhile photos around just on the Fullerton Loop.  It should be here in time for the Nanny Goat! Of course, the waterproof feature is something I’ll never use but someone might have occasion to and everything else I want.

Nanny Goat is only a few short days away and I am really taking it easy except for the Snails Academy 101 classes, just 2 more before Nanny.   Doing a bit of intro inspection:  I really don’t want sympathy, I want and need encouragement to get my arse moving.  I’m pretty sure lots of folks would be content to sit around, watch TV, do lots of nothing and get fat.  That’s not me, whilst I am not a high energy person I am,  perhaps, more of a steady, steady and more steady person. I don’t go fast but I do go.  At the time of the accident I was seriously considering either a 50 miler or a 100K (61ish) miles.  It would’ve been very challenging, particularly being an older fart. But I think with a bit of good training, and luck, I could have achieved them.  Now, I’ll wait until after Nanny to formulate entirely new longer range goals.  The season for 5 and 10Ks will be arriving soon and perhaps I, and Nicole, can enter some.

May 24  Friday  Day before Nanny Goat and I am a little apprehensive but not too much.  Going to take it very easy today but I might walk over to the Fullerton Community Center for my health and well being class.   Having the pond cleaned and redo and being a former koi pond builder I just had to jump and do a little , of course. Then later I soaked in the sauna for 30 minutes and boy, I slept very well last night

May 27 Monday  Finally accomplished a major something:  walked 26 miles at Nanny Goat Sat and I am paying hugely for my passion because my feet hurt like hell and can just barely walk.  I hope the feet are better in a day or so.   My legs are only just a little bit sore

From Leigh Anne Guveiyian on her Get Fit With LA FB page.  I met her at Nanny goat

“Meet my new friend Leon who I meet during my ultra. Talk about INSPIRING!! Leon was hit by a bus a few years ago leaving him unable to walk. But with therapy and surgeries he now walks with braces. Leon completed a FULL MARATHON in his leg brace and walking poles. His shirt says it all “I really did get hit by a bus! What’s your excuse?”  So tell me what’s your excuses?  If he can do it disabled YOU CAN TOO!! Dream big and you can preserve through anything and achieve your goals.”

 

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 I don’t think of myself as DISABLED, just a wee bit challenged!

blisterrtoedelete blisterballdelete

                                        Paying for Nanny Goat today with big time blisters.  Right toe is totally wiped out and huge blister on ball of left foot                               Now I walk like a drunk sailor with really sore feet!!!  And I’ll do it all over again as soon as my feet are better.

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Several photos from Nanny Goat.  About 11:30 hours to get in 26 miles.  I was tired and ready to quit because of blisters and feet hurt like hell.  But does one expect only having walked 7 miles maybe 3 times and I was a real tenderfoot.  Next year, next year I will be lots more ready.

Playing with my new camera that was not charging and refused to charge.  Set it down on the floor to get something and as I picked it up something clicked and it came on.  Have no idea what I did but it seems to be fine now.  Had already emailed Crutchfield and a new camera should be here tomorrow.  Now I don’t know what I should do!

Friday, May 31   I finally decided to test the waters about going public with my journal.  Posted on FB to see what folks suggest I do.

To wrap up the month:  Nanny Goat, of course, is the one of the biggest highlights of the last 2 years.  As I look back over the last few weeks I am so glad I started with the Snails 101 Running Academy.  I think I have motivated several and it has really done wonders for my speed.  My walking has greatly improved and I can actually sorta, kinda run at about 16 or 17 min pace w/o too much trouble.  But, that little hill onthe way back at Craig Park still seems like Mt Baldy, but only because I’ve been pushing hard to try to keep up with the group.  We’re about half way thru this class and I’ll probably continue with the next class.

Think I’m done for this go round.

 

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